Sardar joke-How to enjoy a banana

Sardar Santa Singh was eating a banana without peeling it. His friend Surinder commented, "Why don't you peel it first?"

To this, Sardar Santa Singh replied, "Why the need to peel? I already know there is a banana inside."

Circus jokes-Performance without clothes

Carla said to her husband, "Rick, let's go to see the circus."

Rick dismissed her immediately by saying, "No, I am busy."

Carla insisted, "C'mon, do you know they have a girl in the circus who rides a lion without clothes!"

Hearing this, Rick agrees and says, "You are very persistent. Okay, let's go, it's been a long time since I have seen a lion."

Rick bought the most expensive seats in the first row. The lion arrived on stage and did some antics but the girl without the clothes was not to be seen anywhere.

After the show, Rick asked Carla, "What happened to the girl you mentioned who would perform without clothes?"

Carla glared at him and replied, "I had said that the lion will appear without clothes!"

Wife joke-Remember you

After a big argument with her husband Rajesh, Mira left their home and went to her parents' place.

Rajesh called her after a week and asked, "Darling, how are you doing?"

Mira said, "You are calling after a whole week. Why didn't you call earlier?"

Rajesh replied,"I was very busy."

Mira said, "Really? Then why have you called now?"

Rajesh replied, "I could not sleep last night. There were many mosquitoes in the room sucking my blood. So I remembered you."

Mother-in-law joke-Faulty product

Jose was so tired of his wife's constant nagging that he sent a mail to his Mother-in-law.

His mail read like this:
You product is a faulty piece. It has several technical faults which were not informed to me at the time of delivery. I demand that this faulty piece be taken back and I be given an exchange.

The Mother-in-law shot back a message to Jose:

• The product is no longer under Warranty
• There is no policy for refund or exchange
• It is in your hands to enhance the performance of the product
• The Rules & Regulations, of using the product were informed to you at the time of exchanging vows
• The Company no longer makes new products anyways
• You are thereby advised to "Handle with care" 

Wife joke-Tall promises

Bubba was making tall promises to his wife and trying to prove how much he loves her.

Bubba's wife says to him, "If you love me so much, go hunt a tiger for me. I want to decorate our living room with tiger's skin."

Bubba says to her, "Be reasonable darling. How do I hunt a tiger? Tell me something easier."

Bubba's wife says, "Okay, then show me your Whatsapp messages."

Bubba replies, "Do you want a regular striped tiger or a White one?"

Cheated!

Joseph says to his hostel roommate, "Alex, I have been cheated!"

Alex said, "Who cheated you? How?"

Joseph replied, "My own parents! I asked them to send me money for books, and guess what did they send me........books!!"


Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Just like Mom

It was Juan's 35th birthday and he was celebrating with friends. One of his friends, Pepe asked him, "You should get married now. Haven't you found a woman?"

Juan replied, "Well, over the years,  I have brought many girlfriends home to meet my mom but she didn't like anyone."

Pepe said "That's an age old problem, but I know the solution. Get a girl who is just like your Mom."

Juan meets Pepe again after a couple of weeks and Pepe asks him, "Well how is it going? Did you find a girl your Mom would like?"

Juan replied without enthusiasm, "Ya I did. She is just like Mom. And Mom was all praises for her."

Pepe asked, "Then what's the trouble dude? Why the long face?"

Juan replied, "Dad doesn't like her."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Distant brother

Laurel: Who is this boy?
Hardy: He is my distant brother.
Laurel: What do you mean by that??!
Hardy: Well, there are seven other brothers between us.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Disoriented men

When Alex was appointed the new in-charge of the mental hospital, he asked his subordinate to take him around the hospital premises for orientation.

In one of the corridors, Alex saw a man in torn clothes running towards him shouting, "Julia, Julia!!"

Alex asked the subordinate, "What is wrong with him?"

The subordinate replied, "This guy was in love with a girl called Julia but could not marry her. He was so disheartened that he lost his mind. He has been like this ever since."

When they were in another part of the hospital, Alex saw another disoriented man running haywire and screaming, "Julia! Julia!"

Alex looked at his subordinate questioningly and the subordinate quickly replied, "Well, he is the man who married Julia."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

The disappearing customer

Alex went to the salon and asked the owner, "Hey Max, how long would I have to wait for a haircut?"

Max looked at the customers waiting and replied, "About an hour". On hearing this, Alex left.

He returned next week and asked Max, "Hey, how long is the waiting time for a haircut?"

Max looked at the customers already waiting, and replied, "About an hour." Alex left.

The week after that, Alex came again and asked the same question, "Hey Max, how long would I have to wait for a haircut?"

Max replied, "An hour or so." Alex left quietly.

Max was intrigued and asked a friend in the shop, "Paul, do me a favour. Please follow that guy and see where he goes."

Paul returned in a while and could not stop laughing. Max asked, "Well this has to be funny. So where did he go??"

Paul replied, "Your home!!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Brand new suit

David saw his colleague Alfred walk into the office in a brand new suit. David exclaimed, "Not bad, dude! Where did you get the suit?"

Alfred smiled and replied, "Well, my wife got them for me. Pretty cool, isn't it?"

David replied, "Sure it is. Was it your anniversary?"

Alfred said, "No. beats me. The other day, I arrived home early from work, and there I found them on a chair near the bed."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Argument with wife

After a heated argument with his wife Lisa, John said to himself enough is enough. He packed his bags and was walking out of the house, when Lisa screamed from behind, "Hope you have a slow and agonizing death, you swine!"

John shot back, "So now you don't want me to go.."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Baby pig

I saw my friend Pablo in the market and greeted him. I was surprised to see that he was carrying a baby pig in his arms.

I asked him, "Hey, what are you doing with this pig?"

Pablo replied, "Well, I found him in the park. Think he is lost. Anyway, I am going to adopt him. Since we have no kids of our own, this little fellow is going to live with us like family. He will have his meals with us, and sleep in our bed."

I asked him, "Will the smell not be bothersome?"

Pablo replied, "Ah, the little fellow will have to get used to it, just like I did." 

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

No shame

When Ranbir farted loudly at a friend's party, the silence that followed was deafening!

Jasbir, who was standing next to him, said angrily, "Do you have no shame farting in front of my wife?"

Ranbir replied, "You will have to forgive me please. I had no idea it was her turn."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Which one?

Andrea was mad at her husband Phil and she screamed, "I saw you at Erning Street when I was buying stuff for the house."

She continued, "I saw you with a gorgeous blonde and you both went into the Parkside hotel. I want you to explain and I want you to be honest!"

Phil said to her, "All right, please make up your mind, which one do you want?"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Similar clothes

Mrs. Yadav took her 8 kids to the park to play. An old man could not contain his curiosity and asked her, "Why are they all wearing similar clothes of the same colour?"

Mrs. Yadav smiled and replied, "There was a time when we had just 3 kids and I would make them wear similar clothes so that they don't get lost."

"But now", she said, "I make them wear similar clothes so that I don't take home any kid that does not belong to us!'

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

In a great hurry

Jim, the salesman was in a rush to reach the Tendon Railway station. He asked the farm-owner, "Sir, can you please let me pass through your field instead of going around it? I need to catch the 3:35 train and I am in a great hurry!"  

The farm owner replied, "Feel free to go. If my bulldog sees you, you might even catch the 3:15 train."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Old granny

Alvaro was the salesman at a used car selling outlet. He was worried to see a customer come back with the car he had sold only a day before. Alvaro had told the customer that the car was driven only by an old granny.

Alvaro asked the customer, “Is everything ok?”

The customer replied, “Yeah, just dropped by to return a couple of things that the ‘old granny’ left under the seat – some packs of Marlboros and half a bottle of rum!”

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Unparalleled

Tina, whose popularity among the boys was unparalleled, paid a visit to Dr. Paes.

Doctor Paes told her she was pregnant. He then added, "I know you are dating several guys. Do you know who the father is?"

Tina was quick to retort, "If you gulped up a can of Bush's baked beans, would you figure out which bean is responsible for the gas?"

Way to Heaven

Father Reynold was having a conversation with a group of kids about how good behavior could help them go to Heaven. When he had finished, he asked them, "Where does everyone here want to go?"

Little Tina remarked, "Heaven!"

Father Reynold asked, "And what should you be to be able to get there?"

Little Harry replied, "Dead!"