Santa Banta joke - Demise

Santa : Sorry to learn about your father's demise. May his soul rest in peace. I am sure he has left you a lot.

Banta : Yes, he has.

Santa: Like what?

Banta: A lot of debt.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

The disappearing customer

Alex went to the salon and asked the owner, "Hey Max, how long would I have to wait for a haircut?"

Max looked at the customers waiting and replied, "About an hour". On hearing this, Alex left.

He returned next week and asked Max, "Hey, how long is the waiting time for a haircut?"

Max looked at the customers already waiting, and replied, "About an hour." Alex left.

The week after that, Alex came again and asked the same question, "Hey Max, how long would I have to wait for a haircut?"

Max replied, "An hour or so." Alex left quietly.

Max was intrigued and asked a friend in the shop, "Paul, do me a favour. Please follow that guy and see where he goes."

Paul returned in a while and could not stop laughing. Max asked, "Well this has to be funny. So where did he go??"

Paul replied, "Your home!!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Brand new suit

David saw his colleague Alfred walk into the office in a brand new suit. David exclaimed, "Not bad, dude! Where did you get the suit?"

Alfred smiled and replied, "Well, my wife got them for me. Pretty cool, isn't it?"

David replied, "Sure it is. Was it your anniversary?"

Alfred said, "No. beats me. The other day, I arrived home early from work, and there I found them on a chair near the bed."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Inconsolable

Linda was taking a walk when she noticed a small kid crying at the corner of the street. She bent and asked the little boy why he was crying. 

The boy, sobbing loudly, replied, "My uncle threw our three little puppies in the drain."

Linda, horrified by what she had just heard, reacted angrily, "Your uncle is evil. How could he do such a thing?"

The boy said, "That's true. He had promised that he would let me do it."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Social Media Humor - At Office

Argument with wife

After a heated argument with his wife Lisa, John said to himself enough is enough. He packed his bags and was walking out of the house, when Lisa screamed from behind, "Hope you have a slow and agonizing death, you swine!"

John shot back, "So now you don't want me to go.."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Dining table

At the Cricket Stadium, Santa says to Banta, "I wish I had got my dining table to the Cricket match."

Banta says, "Why would you bring a dining table to the Cricket match?"

Santa replies, "Because I forgot my tickets on it."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Whose fault is it?

Pablo, David and Juan were all discussing the poor state of their local football team.

Pablo said, "The manager is responsible. If he had selected better players, we would have had a good team."

David commented, "It is the players' fault. Had they played better, we could have seen some more goals."

Juan exclaimed, "My parents are to be blamed! Had they given me birth in another town, I wud have been supporting a good club!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Latvian joke

Boka: I had a typical Latvian meal today at a friend's place.

Poka: Really? What were you served?

Boka: Nothing!

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Mood swing

Q: How do you get a ginger guy's mood to swing?

A: Wait for 15 seconds!

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Anti joke-M.J.

Why did Michael Jackson call the school?

Because he wanted to give his children an education.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Physics jokes-Well defined

When eight-year-old Tom was asked to define Newton's first law, he blabbered, "Bodies that are moving, should remain moving, and bodies that are resting will remain so unless their moms force them outta bed!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Ginger jokes-M. Jackson

Why is luck on the side of Ginger kiddos?

Cos they can have a room of their own when they stay at MJ's palace.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Hide money

Ana says to Phil, "Where do we keep our money? Our son has a bad habit of stealing money where ever I keep it - in the locker or the wardrobe or the bags. I am really concerned"

Phil replies, "The safest place would be his studybooks. He will never look there."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net