Physics jokes-Well defined

When eight-year-old Tom was asked to define Newton's first law, he blabbered, "Bodies that are moving, should remain moving, and bodies that are resting will remain so unless their moms force them outta bed!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Ginger jokes-M. Jackson

Why is luck on the side of Ginger kiddos?

Cos they can have a room of their own when they stay at MJ's palace.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Hide money

Ana says to Phil, "Where do we keep our money? Our son has a bad habit of stealing money where ever I keep it - in the locker or the wardrobe or the bags. I am really concerned"

Phil replies, "The safest place would be his studybooks. He will never look there."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Punny jokes - Thrown out

I still can't digest the fact that I was thrown out of a Calendar company!

What did I do? I just took a week off.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Anti joke

Laurel: What is black and bad for your teeth?

Hardy: A Stone.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Advice before the operation

Old man Juan Carlos was in the operation room, waiting for his son, a noted cardiologist, to perform a surgery on him.

Before the assistant doctor could administer anesthesia, Juan Carlos requested that he be allowed to speak to his doctor son in private. When they were alone, Juan Carlos said, "I love you, my son. Do not be nervous. You have many years of experience behind you so give it your best shot. If something goes wrong, just remember that your mom is gonna move to your place permanently to spend the rest of her life with you and your wife."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Helter-skelter

Jimmy was running helter-skelter in his uncle's house where he was spending his winter holidays. Despite many warnings, he continued to play inside the house and broke an ancient vase.

Uncle Andrew got very upset and screamed, "Do you have any idea how old that was? It was made in the eighteenth century.

"That's a relief!" exclaimed Jimmy, "almost thought it was brand new."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Burial ground

John is driving with his 5 year old son and they pass a burial ground. John glances at his son Tod and says, "Can you guess why they can't bury me here?"

Tod asks, "Why?"

John replies, "Cos I ain't dead yet!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Baby pig

I saw my friend Pablo in the market and greeted him. I was surprised to see that he was carrying a baby pig in his arms.

I asked him, "Hey, what are you doing with this pig?"

Pablo replied, "Well, I found him in the park. Think he is lost. Anyway, I am going to adopt him. Since we have no kids of our own, this little fellow is going to live with us like family. He will have his meals with us, and sleep in our bed."

I asked him, "Will the smell not be bothersome?"

Pablo replied, "Ah, the little fellow will have to get used to it, just like I did." 

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

No shame

When Ranbir farted loudly at a friend's party, the silence that followed was deafening!

Jasbir, who was standing next to him, said angrily, "Do you have no shame farting in front of my wife?"

Ranbir replied, "You will have to forgive me please. I had no idea it was her turn."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Three more days

The doctor said to Santa Singh who wife has just undergone a complicated operation, "Mr. Singh, I am sorry to say your wife has only 3 more days to live."

Santa Singh replied, "Don't be sorry for me. It's a matter of only 3 more days. This time will also pass!"

Lipstick

Joselina screamed at her husband Bubba, "What is the meaning of these lipstick marks on your shirt?"

Bubba said, "I am clueless how those lipstick marks appeared. I am sure I was not wearing anything at that time."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Pun joke

I turn on the shower, every time I remove my clothes in the bathroom.

Anti joke - Jealous

I am jealous of guys who can give back witty retorts cos in my case, I require a two-day notice in the least!

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net