Blonde jokes-Vac

Deborah, the busty blonde who was on vacation, sent home a postcard.

She writes: Hi folks, me having a great time. Where am I?

Very funny jokes-Theft is same store

The cops, while investigating a theft in a readymade garments store, caught the thief and were interrogating him. They asked the thief why did he steal in the same store 4 times.

Bob the thief confessed that the first time he stole an expensive gown, he gifted it to his wife. He added, "You know how women are! I had to go back three times to change it!"

Funny jokes-Grudge

A British guy walks into a bar in Central London and before he could order his drink, he notices a Sikh man wearing a turban. Having a personal grudge against sardars, the British guy says loudly to the bartender to the advantage of everyone seated in the bar, "Drinks for everyone in here, except for the Sikh sardar over there."

The first round of drinks were served, and the Sikh guy gives him a smile, gestures to him saying, "Thank you!" in a loud voice.

The British guy is upset and again orders loudly to the bartender to serve another round of drinks to everyone except the Sardar.

The Sardar seems to be unruffled and he continues to smile, and yells back, "Thank you!"

The British guy is mad by now and asks the bartender, "What's wrong with this Sardar? I've insulted him by ordering drinks for everyone but him, and yet he smiles back and keeps thanking me. Has he lost his mind?"

"No, Sir," replies the bartender. "He is the owner of this place."

Overgrown boy

Joke on MEN at the women's lib party:

How do you define Marriage? 
It's an eyewash involving the adoption of an overgrown boy whose parents can't handle him anymore!

Baywatch

The things that we have learnt from the popular series Baywatch:

1. The favorite pass-time in the US is running on the beach in slow-mo.

2. US citizens almost drown twice an hour.

3. In spite of the above tendency, CPR almost always helps and there are never any deaths.

4. If you are American, you are likely to introspect looking at the ocean for a long time after being told anything of significance.

5. Fat guys can't be relied on and are always scheming.

6. American girls have enormous assets that are given prominence with close-ups for long lasting screen shots.

7. In CA, there is greater probability of one getting kidnapped by jewellery robbers or by terrorists than drown.

8. All lifeguards who claim to be underprivileged, own flashy sports cars and beach homes.

Short funny jokes-Green dot

Teacher to students: Tell me what does the Green dot on Britannia Tiger Biscuit packet mean?

One student : It means that the Tiger is online....

Very funny jokes-Swipe

Working at a small office in the countryside, I found my colleague Katy put a credit card into her floppy drive and then pulling it out in an instant.

Bewildered, I asked what was she up to.

Her answer gave me the creeps. Katy replied she was shopping on the net and the website was constantly asking for a credit card number, so she decided to "swipe" her card in the floppy drive.

Short funny jokes-Real sign of getting old!

Initial signs that indicate you are growing old.

Wrinkled skin? No.

Thick eyeglasses? No.

Hair loss? No.

The real sign is - When you begin to love your own wife.

Michelangelo's painting

Meera had planned a trip to Italy and decided to take her old gandma along as there was nobody to look after her while she was away.

When they visited the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling.

"Granny, do you know it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted."

"Sounds familiar", her grandma said. "He and I must have the same landlord."

Doctor jokes-Before the pain

A Swede doctor gives instructions to his patient.

Doctor: “It is of vital importance that you take this particular medicine right one hour before you get your pains.”

Very funny jokes-Habits

The Indian groom says to his bride on the wedding night, "I want to confess that I had 15 love affairs before we got married."

The bride instead of getting upset, said brightly, "I knew it! When our horoscopes matched, I was sure our habits would also match!!"

Zen question-Forest officers

Zen question
Where do forest officers go to "get away from it all"?

Adult jokes-That kinda guy

Derek was tired of working at a logging venue for what seemed to be like an eternity. So he decides to go to town and have some serious fun. He goes to a Bed and Breakfast place asks the owner, "Where do I go if I want a little fun around here?"

The owner answered, "There ain't no women for miles, but if you want it real bad, we have a Chinese cook."

"Hey, I'm not that kinda guy!" said Derek, and went away.

A week went by, and Derek was back to the owner's cabin. He said, "Lets suppose I opted for the Chinese cook, how many people would have to know about it?"

The owner replied "Hmm... there's me, there's you, him, that's six in all, we need three to hold him down - he's not that kinda guy either!!"

Pun-Dead

Making fun of dead people is a grave mistake!