Labour pain

Cristina was going through labour pain at the hospital. She was screaming in agony, and looking at her condition, her boyfriend Peter said, "Darling, I am so sorry that you have to go through this because of me."

Cristina replied, "Relax Peter, none of your fault anyway." 

To catch a wink

Roger shouted at his neighbour Rick, "Can you ask your dog to shut up. He has been barking non-stop since several hours. I have a severe headache from last night's drinking and trying hard to catch a wink."

Rick replied, "I am sure my dog will calm down as soon as you vacate his kennel."

Fever

Santa: Hey Banta, how did you get fever? Just last night, we were talking and you were absolutely fine. 

Banta: That's right, but last night, after having so many pegs, you spoke such nonsense that even a donkey would have got fever.

Santa (with a sly smile): Yes, I can see that!

Joke of the day-Sad

Anita went to her mother's home for a couple of weeks to look after her ailing mother, leaving behind her three year old in the care of her mother-in-law.

The day she reached her mother's home, she received an sms from her mother-in-law which read: "Please return soon. Son sad without you"

Anita messaged back to her mother-in-law: "Whose son? Yours or mine?"

Hilarious jokes-On the phone

David was getting irritated standing outside the public phone booth. Losing his patience, he knocked on the door and said, "Hello there, you have been in there for more than 20 minutes and I have not seen you speak at all."

The guy inside the booth replied, "Dude I am speaking to the missus."

Sardar jokes-Visiting card

Banta Singh said to Santa Singh, "Your visiting card read your qualification as BBA two months back. Now it is reading MBA. How did you get the degree of two years in two months?"

Santa Singh replied, "My wife has gone to visit her mother two months back during the summer vacations. So I got my visiting card printed as BBA (BOLD BACHELOR AGAIN!). Now that she has returned, my status is MBA (MARRIED BACK AGAIN)."

Comedy jokes-Old age

Sam asks his friend Fred, "What are the first signs of old age?"

Fred replies, "Wrinkles?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred says, "Hair loss?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred asks, "Medicines?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred asks, "Then what??"

Sam replies, "When your wife stops suspecting you!"