Hilarious jokes-Horse race

George said to Fred, 'I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.',

'Wow! you must be loaded', said Fred.

'Not really' said George, 'the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.'

Clean jokes-Sumo wrestler

Three men, an Scot, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.

The Scot jumped off and shouted ''God save Scotland !''

The English man jumped off and shouted ''God Save England!''

The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted ''God save the person who I land on!''

Really funny jokes-No fish under ice

This happened to Linda Strauss when she decided to go ice fishing. She did a lot of research on the subject, and finally, after getting all the essential equipment together, she made her way out onto the ice. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Frighteningly, from up above, a voice boomed, "There are no fish under the ice." Startled, Linda Strauss moved farther down the ice, poured herself a large coffee, and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice." Linda Strauss , now became very concerned so she moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and began again to cut her ice-hole.

The voice rang out once more, "There are no fish under the ice."Linda Strauss, stopped, looked upwards and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager."

Hilarious jokes-Bridal

Rick, a young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend decided to get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. While checking in the lady behind the desk asks
'We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?' '

'No thanks' says the jockey 'I'll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!'

SMS jokes-Serve

Betty: Tell me what can you serve but never savour?

Ron: A tennis ball!

Really funny jokes-How's your job?

Some short office jokes to entertain you......

Laurel: How's your job at the watch company?
Hardy: Only time will tell.

Tom: How's your job at the banana company?
Jerry: I keep slipping up.

Santa: How's your job on the new highway?
Banta: I'm so busy I don't know which way to turn.

Turner: How's your job at the travel agency?
Hooch: I'm going nowhere.

Beavis: How's your job at the swivel chair company?
Butthead: It makes my head spin!

Calvin: How's your job at the lemon juice company?
Hobbes: I've had bitter jobs.

Garfield: How's your job at the pie company?
Odie: It didn't pan out.

Laurel: How's your job at the balloon factory?
Hardy: We can't keep up with inflation.

Tom: How's your job at the crystal ball company?
Jerry: I'm making a fortune.

Santa: How's your job at the history book company?
Banta: There's no future in it.

Turner: How's your job at the clock company?
Hooch: I'm having second thoughts about it.

Beavis: How's your job on the farm?
Butthead: Problems keep cropping up.

Calvin: How's your job at the sewing shop?
Hobbes: Hanging on by a thread.

Garfield: How's your job at the eye glasses clinic?
Odie: I have clear job objectives.

Short funny jokes-Hit by lightning

Tom : I witnessed a live band play their music in a thunderstorm, and guess who got  hit by the lightning?

Jerry : The conductor.