Joke of the day-Sad

Anita went to her mother's home for a couple of weeks to look after her ailing mother, leaving behind her three year old in the care of her mother-in-law.

The day she reached her mother's home, she received an sms from her mother-in-law which read: "Please return soon. Son sad without you"

Anita messaged back to her mother-in-law: "Whose son? Yours or mine?"

Hilarious jokes-On the phone

David was getting irritated standing outside the public phone booth. Losing his patience, he knocked on the door and said, "Hello there, you have been in there for more than 20 minutes and I have not seen you speak at all."

The guy inside the booth replied, "Dude I am speaking to the missus."

Sardar jokes-Visiting card

Banta Singh said to Santa Singh, "Your visiting card read your qualification as BBA two months back. Now it is reading MBA. How did you get the degree of two years in two months?"

Santa Singh replied, "My wife has gone to visit her mother two months back during the summer vacations. So I got my visiting card printed as BBA (BOLD BACHELOR AGAIN!). Now that she has returned, my status is MBA (MARRIED BACK AGAIN)."

Comedy jokes-Old age

Sam asks his friend Fred, "What are the first signs of old age?"

Fred replies, "Wrinkles?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred says, "Hair loss?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred asks, "Medicines?"

Sam says, "No."

Fred asks, "Then what??"

Sam replies, "When your wife stops suspecting you!"

Funniest jokes-Husband's decision

Anita shouts angrily at her husband Phil, "I want you to decide what do you want in your life - Whatsapp or me?"

Phil replies calmly, "Certainly Whatsapp. If I must waste time, might as well do with everyone. Why should I do it only with you?"

Joke of the day-When neighbors fight

Sofia said to her husband Alam, "It seems the husband and wife next door have been fighting since a long time. Will you please go and check on them?"

Alam replied, "I have already been there a couple of times. The fight is related to that only!"

Doctor jokes-Panic in the Operation room

Pablo asked his friend David, "I heard you escaped from the Operation room. What happened?

David replied, "You have no idea what I went through at the hospital. The nurse kept saying 'Don't be worried', 'Don't be tense', 'Don't panic', 'It will soon be over', 'It is only a small operation' and so on."

Pablo said, "She must be trying to pacify you. Why were you so scared?"

Davis replied, "I was scared....because she was speaking to the Doctor!!"

A dying miser

Santa Singh the miser was on his death bed. He reached out for his wife's hand and asked, "Where are you?"

Santa's wife Preeto took his hand and replied, "I am right here, my dear."

Then Santa Singh said, "Where are my children?"

His sons held his hand and said "We are right here Daddy."

Santa Singh paused for a moment and then said, "Then why is the fan running in the other room?"

Beer joke-Technique to sell twice

Andre staggers into the bar, completely sloshed. He asks the bar attendant for a beer and says to him, "I can share a technique with you which will help you sell twice the amount of beer."

The bar attendant asks, "Wow, what is it?"

Andre replies, "Nothing complicated. You simply have to pour full glasses."

Judge joke-Odd figure

The Judge charged Peter with rape and pronounced in the court, "You are to undergo ten years of rigorous imprisonment and you are charged with a fine of 10608 dollars."

Peter asked, "I did not understand the odd figure of 10608 dollars."

The Judge replied, "10000 dollars for rape, 4% for local taxes and 2% entertainment tax."

Sardar joke-How to enjoy a banana

Sardar Santa Singh was eating a banana without peeling it. His friend Surinder commented, "Why don't you peel it first?"

To this, Sardar Santa Singh replied, "Why the need to peel? I already know there is a banana inside."

All kinds

Tom says to his wife, "What kind of food have you cooked? This tastes like sh*t!"

Sandra mutters to herself, "Oh God, this man has tasted everything in life."

Funny joke-Finally at rest

Rebecca, who had 9 children from her marriage to Dan, decided to remarry when Dan died. So she married Bosco and had 8 more children.

When Bosco died, Rebecca decided to marry one more time and had 6 more children from her marriage to John.

One day, Rebecca passes away. At the funeral, Father Gomes prayed for her and said, "Thank you Almighty, for they are finally together."

One of the mourners asked another, "Does Father Gomes mean Dan, Bosco or John?"

The other mourner replies, "I think he is referring to her legs."

Barber joke-New salon

Jose had a haircut at a new salon that had opened in the neighborhood. When he stepped out, he met his friend Pedro. Pedro asked him, "How is this new joint?"

Jose replied, "Well, the haircut was okay but I did not appreciate the 4-letter word that the barber kept repeating during the haircut."

Pedro, now intrigued, asked, "What was that?"

Jose replied, "DARN!"