Santa's interview

Santa Singh decided to appear for an interview at the Railways for the position of a guard.

The interviewer asked him, "What will you do if you see 2 trains approaching each other on the same track?"

Santa Singh replied, "I will signal with a red flag."

The interviewer asked, "What if you can't find the flag?"

Santa Singh replied, "I will signal with a torch."

The interviewer asked, "What if you can't find the torch?"

Santa Singh replied, "I will signal with my red jacket."

The interviewer asked, "What if you are not wearing a red jacket on that day?"

Santa Singh replied, "Then I will ask my son to rush to the station?"

The interviewer asked, "Why would you do that??"

Santa Singh replied, "He has never seen two trains collide."

Weird dreams

Santa Singh said the the psychiatrist, "I get these weird dreams where I see kangaroos playing soccer."

The psychiatrist said, "Do not worry. I will prescribe you a few medicines. Just have them before going to bed."

Santa Singh said, "Ok, I will start taking the medicines from Sunday."

The psychiatrist asked, "Why not start today?"

Santa Singh replied, "Oh, the finals are on Saturday."

Fever

Santa: Hey Banta, how did you get fever? Just last night, we were talking and you were absolutely fine. 

Banta: That's right, but last night, after having so many pegs, you spoke such nonsense that even a donkey would have got fever.

Santa (with a sly smile): Yes, I can see that!

Sardar jokes-Visiting card

Banta Singh said to Santa Singh, "Your visiting card read your qualification as BBA two months back. Now it is reading MBA. How did you get the degree of two years in two months?"

Santa Singh replied, "My wife has gone to visit her mother two months back during the summer vacations. So I got my visiting card printed as BBA (BOLD BACHELOR AGAIN!). Now that she has returned, my status is MBA (MARRIED BACK AGAIN)."

Sardar joke-How to enjoy a banana

Sardar Santa Singh was eating a banana without peeling it. His friend Surinder commented, "Why don't you peel it first?"

To this, Sardar Santa Singh replied, "Why the need to peel? I already know there is a banana inside."

Santa joke-A plumber can save you!

When Santa Singh went to appear for his exams, he asked a plumber to accompany him.

Intrigued by the plumber's presence, a classmate asked him, "Why did you get a plumber with you?"

Santa Singh's answer made everyone laugh in the class, "Because I heard the paper has leaked."

Sardar joke-Mango season

In a press conference during his visit to India, Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple Inc announced, "We would like to develop in India".

Sardar Santa Singh who was present at the conference commented, "But Sir, this is the season for Mangoes. You must visit again after July."

Santa's aspiration

God appears in front of Santa Singh of India and says, "Tell me son. What do you aspire for?"

Santa Singh says, "All I want is a job, a room full of cash, and respite from this heat."

"So be it!", says God.

Santa Singh is not employed as a security guard of a Bank's ATM.


Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Santa Banta joke - Demise

Santa : Sorry to learn about your father's demise. May his soul rest in peace. I am sure he has left you a lot.

Banta : Yes, he has.

Santa: Like what?

Banta: A lot of debt.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Dining table

At the Cricket Stadium, Santa says to Banta, "I wish I had got my dining table to the Cricket match."

Banta says, "Why would you bring a dining table to the Cricket match?"

Santa replies, "Because I forgot my tickets on it."

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Three more days

The doctor said to Santa Singh who wife has just undergone a complicated operation, "Mr. Singh, I am sorry to say your wife has only 3 more days to live."

Santa Singh replied, "Don't be sorry for me. It's a matter of only 3 more days. This time will also pass!"

Game

Sardar Santa Singh was walking through the big estate that his father had left him.

He suddenly noticed a young girl lying naked in the fields.

Santa asked the girl, "Are you game?"

"Yess!", cooed the pretty young thing.

So Sardar Santa Singh shot her.

Sunday at the beach

Santa and Banta are enjoying their Sunday at the beach.

Santa complains to Banta, "I am not having a good time. The girls are not noticing me."

Banta says, "I have a solution. Why don't you put a Banana in your swim shorts. It would help."

So Santa does what he is told and complains to Banta again after some time."I did what you asked me to do but it's no good."

Banta chuckled and said, "Santa, you are supposed to put it in the front!"

Refrain

Sardar Santa Singh decides to give up all worldly things for a period of 6 months. He took an oath to refrain from all worldly desires to appease the Gods so that his dream of watching his country win the Cricket World cup comes true.

He tells his wife about the decision and that he would also have to refrain from all nocturnal activities. His wife Jeeto is not happy with the idea but decides to support him nevertheless as it is for a good cause.

One week goes by, then the second, and Sardar Santa Singh finds it more and more difficult to control himself. To help him, Jeeto wears the most uglly nightdresses and does not brush before going to bed. three to four months go by. The last 2 months are the most difficult for Santa, so Jeeto locks him out of the bedroom every night and he is forced to sleep on the sofa.

Finally, D-Day arrives and there were loud knocks on Jeeto's bedroom door.

Sardar Santa Singh asks, "Guess who is this?"

Jeeto replies, "I very well know who it is."

Sardar Santa Singh asks, "Guess what I need?"

Jeeto replies, "I very well know what you need!"

Sardar Santa Singh asks, "Guess what I am pounding the door with?"

Santa's presence of mind

Santa Singh was returning home after a hard day of work. It was late in the night and the streets were deserted. Suddenly, an armed man came out from behind the bushes and pointing his gun at Santa, said in a harsh tone, "Give me your wallet."

Santa handing his wallet said to the perpetrator, "You can take my money but please use your gun to put a hole in my turban, or else Jassi, my wife, will never believe I was robbed."

The mugger agreed and shot through Santa's turban.

Santa had another request and giving his jacket to the perpetrator, said, "Can you pump a few bullets into my jacket to make it look like I put up a good fight, or else my wife Jassi will get the chance to call me a coward."

The mugger agreed and shot a number of bullets through Santa's jacket.

Santa was ready with another request. He said, "One more thing. Can you..."

The perpetrator interrupted him and said, "Listen, I am out of bullets. There's nothing more I can do for you."

"Good", replied Santa, pulling up his sleeves to show his muscular arms, "Now, give me back my wallet and hand me your wallet to cover for my turban & jacket that you messed up. Or else I will beat the pulp out of you!"

Who is the boss

Santa was getting married. Night before the D day, Banta told him: “Santa, I am giving you a million dollar advice. You have to kill the cat on the first night itself. Show her who is the boss  around here. Make her follow your commands from day one. Otherwise she will be in charge.”

Santa: “But how do I do that?”

Banta: “Simple. Finish all your sentences with ‘or else…… or otherwise……’ when you ask her to do something. For example say- ‘Wife, bring me tea and make it quick or else…….’ “

Santa took the advice literally. On the very first night he ordered her sternly to bring milk with saffron. Thereafter he made it a habit to order her around and the threat was always there in the air. Even while going to bed he would say: “Come to bed pronto or else…….”

Santa’s wife was a simple and obedient woman. She could not understand Santa’s behavior. But she was intelligent and patient. She wisely decided to wait and watch for a few days and see how things turn. Things didn’t change. Santa continued his behavior and she continued to obey him. After about a month of this she decided that Santa was basically a good man and what he was doing was out of his character. And she decided to act, enough was enough.

One day Santa ordered: “Wife, prepare hot water bath for me ..otherwise…..”

Wife retorted: “Otherwise? Otherwise what?”

Santa was at a loss of words. He said: “Otherwise nothing. I will take a cold bath.”

Wife: “Then do.”

 Santa did and they lived happily ever after.

Coming up

Sardar Santa Singh worked in a medical store as a cashier and was not too acquainted with facts of medicines. One day, the pharmacist was away on an errand, so Santa Singh had to take his place. A customer came along and asked for a medicine by it's name.

Since the medicine was not available at the counter, Santa Singh asked the helper boy to get it from the warehouse. The helper boy was taking long to get it, and the customer was getting impatient.

Seeing the customer getting edgy, and not knowing that the medicine was meant to help get an erection, Santa Singh tried to pacify him by saying, "Here sir, sit down. Yours coming up in minute."

Round or square?

Sardar Santa Singh's son, Jolly, came home from school and declared, "We had a fantastic Algebra class today."

Santa Singh asked the boy, "Huh, what did you learn?"

Jolly answered proudly, "I know all about Pi R Square now."

Santa Singh reprimanded the boy, "Dont' try to take me for a ride boy. It's a known fact that pies are round!"

A Stroke

Sir Santa Singh ji came home early one day only to find strange sounds coming from the bedroom.
He ran to the bedroom and pushed open the door only to find his wife lying naked on the bed, sweating profusely and breathing heavily.

He asked her, "What's going on? Are you all right?"

His wife Billo cried aloud, "I'm having a stroke!"

He rushed out of the bedroom and ran for the phone. He called the family doc and was about to inform the the doc about his wife's condition, when his little son came running and said, "Papa, I just saw Uncle Banta hiding in your closet and he is not wearing any clothes!!"

Sir Santa Singh ji gets really mad. He rushes to the bedroom and forces the closet door open. And lo, he finds Banta Singh ji hiding in the closet, in his birthday suit.

Santa Singh ji screams at Banta Singh "You fool, my wife is having a stroke and here you are, running around and scaring the kids!"

Sardar jokes-Compliment

Sardar Gurpreet Singh received a letter from his bank on his loan which said: "Sir, your repayment amount is outstanding!"

Sardar Gurpreet Singh replied: "Dear Sir, thanks for the compliment!"