Hilarious short jokes-No intention

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Short funny jokes-Jewish lady

In the University of Texas student newspaper: "Sweet, little old Jewish lady wishes to correspond with UT undergraduate. Prefers six-foot male with brown eyes answering to initials J.D.B.
Signed, "His Mother."

Halloween jokes-Monster at the door

A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad, dad' he said, 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face'
'Tell him you've already got one,' said his father!

Short funny jokes-Crazy

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path

Birthday party jokes-Candles in the toilet

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Short funny jokes-Policeman's help

"Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him…Do you think we'll ever find them.?
He said..I don't know kid.. there are so many places they can hide."

Short funny jokes-New fifty cent coin

A spokesperson for the U. S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots.
On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale.
Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied, "Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call,
'Ted's or Hale's'."

Hilarious short jokes-Form filling

An actress was filling up a form.
There was a column in the form where one was required to state martial status.
Married/ Unmarried.
And she wrote: Occasionally Married.

Short funny jokes-Australian zoo

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe.."

Short funny jokes-New husband

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Hilarious short jokes-Mr. Softy

Two men were grumbling over their problems. The first man said, "My wife left me for a man who drives an ice cream truck."
His friend began to ask, "You mean..."
"Yeah," the first guy replied. "She left me for Mr. Softy."

Short funny jokes-Bottom of the ocean

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Short funny jokes-Laundry

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."

Short funny jokes-Hurricanes

Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.

Short funny jokes-Hijackers' demands

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of politicians.
They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one politician every hour.

Short funny jokes-Ink

Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink?"
Because it was always running out of the pen.

Short funny jokes-Hearing loss

What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?
Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

Short funny jokes-Whiter

Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide.
Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.

Short funny jokes-Punishment

What is the best punishment for a woman?

Give her new clothes,
matching her jewelry,
and nice cosmetics and then,
lock her in a room without a mirror

Short funny jokes-Worse

What's worse finding a worm in a apple?
A half eaten worm!