Mahabharata woes

Gandhari: “Putra Duryodhan, is yuddh ki samapti ke paschat mujhe Ganga snan ke liye le jana.”

Duryodhan: “Avashya mate, kintu ek samasya hai. Producer ne budget main Ganga snan pass nahin kiya.”

Hyderabadis in Heaven

The Indian city of Hyderabad is famous for it's culture and etiquette of it's inhabitants. There is a joke on Hyderabadis (Residents of Hyderabad) :

Why aren't there any Hyderabadis in Heaven yet?

Because they are all standing at the gates, saying to each other: "Pehle aap" ("After you" in Hindi), "Nahee, pehle aap" ("No, I insist after you.")

Hindi jokes-Hyderabadi lingo

A mother in Hyderabad, India was talking to her son in typical Hyderabadi Hindi.

Mother: Tu kaiku rora? (Why are you crying?)

Son: Teacher maari merku. (The teacher hit me)

Mother: Kaiku maari re chudail ne? (Why did she hit you?)

Son: Kyonki mai usku murgi bola. (Because I called her a Hen)

Mom: Kaiku re?? (Why?)

Son: Kaiku bole toh, har exam mein anda deri merku. (Because she gave me a round egg in all the exams)

Funny jokes-Laloo in train

Laloo, Rabri and his son were returning from south by train.

Laloo was occupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment.

The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys chocolate. When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help.

The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Laloo explained, 'That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child.' !!!!!

SMS joke in Hindi

Rahul Gandhi: Mom, aapki vajah se meri shaadi nahi ho rahi.

Sonia Gandhi : Kyon?

Rahul Gandhi: Har taraf likha hai, "Sonia ko Bahumat do"

Shoaib Malik joke in Hindi-Marriage to Ayesha

This is how Ayesha got married to Shoaib on phone.

Ayesha - "Hello Shoaib Afghanistan ka capital kya hai

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai

Ayesha - Sunai nahi de raha hai!

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai

Ayesha - Arre baba phir se bolo.

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai

The marriage ceremony was completed..

Sania Mirza joke-From Pakistan

Baba-e-Qaum: Muhammad Ali Jinnah
Quaid-e-Millat: Liaquat Ali Khan
Madar-e-Millat: Fatima Jinnah
Aur Ab . . .
Bhabhi-e-Millat: Sania Mirza. :-)

Hindi jokes-Shaadi

Shaadi se pehle shadi ke baad
Shaadi ke pehle ladki: Darling tum nahi toh main nahi… Aur main nahi toh tum nahi!
Shaadi ke baad ladki: Aaj ya toh tu nahi ya main nahi!!

Shaadi aur mobile
Shaadi aur mobile me kya similarity hai?
Sirf dimag me ek hi sooch aati hai ki,
Thode din aur ruk jata to naya model mil jata.

Hindi jokes-Suicide Sardarji

Suicide Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)

sardar joke in hindi

Due to the increasing sardar jokes in the country,
santa and banta were little tensed..

They both decide to arrange a seminar in hariyana for
this issue..
the subject of the seminar was "Ban Sardar Jokes".

After the seminar gets over, santa and banta along wid
some more sardarji's leave for delhi to meet the
Cultural Affairs minister shri Surinder Singh..

After waitin for a long time they get the chance to
meet the minister..

On meeting the minister Santa shouts loudly "Kaise
sardarji ho ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo
par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap Mantri ho kar bhi,
kuch karte hi nahi.. aap turant in jokes par ban
lagaiye.."

After thinkin for a little time the minister says
"Mere pyare sardarji Bhaiyon, aap in jokes ko dil se
kyon lete ho, jokes to jokes hai, aur waise bhi hum
sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain.."

On hearing this, Santa and banta gets angry n shouts
"arre mantri jara sabit kar ke dikhao ki sardarji
buddhu hain.."

The minister says," Oye, ye lo ji, is mein konsi badi
baat hai, abhi lo.." n he calls his driver "oye Mika
singh, jara idhar aa".

Mika comes in the cabin.. Minister says.. "oye mika ja
daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mein ghar pahuncha ki
nahi.. Mika goes away..

Then the minister says.. "Dekh lo kitna buddhu hai,
Telephone kar ke nahi puch sakta tha.."

sardarji jokes

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

============ ======
Hindi Sardar Joke

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

============ ======

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

============ ======

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ),

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give

Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !"So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!


Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

More Jokes- from India

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a
country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home!
Let's Thank... KAAMWALI BAI


Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I
really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.



Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.


Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya
kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal


Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN


Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile,
meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile



It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one
exam.
Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS



Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha
gaya .
3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey



Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Laloo At Microsoft

Once Laloo of Bihar, sent his bio data to america to
apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation. A few
days later he got this reply.

" Dear Mr. Laloo , you do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence. No
phone call shall be entertained. Thanks"

Laloo jumped with joy on recieving this reply and
arranged a party. when all the guests arrived, he
said, "Bhaiyon aur behno, aap ko Jaan kar khushi
hogee ki hum amreeca mein naukri mil gayeen hoon."

Everyone was delighted...

Laloo continued.....

" Ab main aap sab ko apna appointment letter padkar
sunaoonga, par letter english mein hain isliyen
saath - saath hindi mein translate bhi karoonga.

Dear Mr.Laloo ----- Pyare Laloo bhaiya
You do not meet ----- Aap to milte hi naheen ho
Our requirement----- Humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any further correspondance-----
Ab letter wetter bhejne ka kauno jaroorat nahi
No phone call ------- Phoonwa ka bhi jaroorat nahee.
Shall be entertained ----- Bahut khatir ki jayegi
Thanks---- Aapka bahut bahut dhanyavad