Game

Sardar Santa Singh was walking through the big estate that his father had left him.

He suddenly noticed a young girl lying naked in the fields.

Santa asked the girl, "Are you game?"

"Yess!", cooed the pretty young thing.

So Sardar Santa Singh shot her.

Too shy, Doctor

When Dorothy went for her annual check-up, the doctor asked her to undress and lie down on the examination table. Her uneasiness evident, Dorothy said to the doctor, "Doctor, I am too shy to undress in front of you."

Dr. Hanks said, "I understand. I will switch off the lights. When you are done undressing, just tell me."

After 2 minutes, Dorothy said to the doctor in the dark, "Doctor Hanks, I am done. Where should I keep my clothes?"

Dr. Hanks replied, "Just keep them over here, on top of mine."

Sandy Hill

Ms. Pitroda, the new Social sciences teacher, had just started teaching, when she noticed Tom walk in late.

She asked, "Why are you late?"

Tom replied. "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

Ms. Pitroda saw another boy called Jack walk in after 10 minutes.

She asked him, "Why so late?"

Jack replied, "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

About 15 minuted later, another boy, Fred walked in.

Ms. Pitroda demanded angrily, "Young man, what is your excuse for coming in so late?"

Fred replied, "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

Ms. Pitroda, now frustrated asked the class, "Will someone tell me where this Sandy Hill is?"

A pretty girl entered the class and said, "I am here mam."

Janie's got a gun

When Janie entered the local store selling sports goods, she was greeted by the owner.

The owner said, "How can I help you miss?"

Janie said, "I want to buy a handgun for my husband."

The owner asked, "Did he give you the specifications?"

Janie replied, "You must be joking. He has no idea that I plan to shoot him!"

Bad stomach

Joe was visiting his relatives in DC. He stayed back for a couple of days. one night, he had a drink too many and had also eaten street food. He was not feeling too well the next morning. His stomach was so upset, he felt sick. He rushed to the bathroom several times but they all turned out to be false alarms. When he felt the urge one more time, he decided it was another false one, and did not budge from the bed. The next thing he knew he had dirtied the bed and it was a pathetic sight.

Not knowing what to do and embarrassed by the thought that his relatives will find out that he has splattered the bed sheet with unmentionables, he quickly collected the bed sheet and threw it out of the window.

The soiled sheet landed on a drunk who was passing by underneath the window. the drunk started swearing and screaming hysterically, punching in the air which left the bed sheet in a messy pile.

A passer-by, intrigued by the incident, stopped to ask what was going on.

The drunk replied, "You won't believe it but I just beat the cr*p out of a ghost!"

Curious Betty

Betty was a curious little girl. She asked her mother one day, "Mom, how was I born?"

Her mother, careful with her words, said, "God created you."

Betty asked, "What about you? Did he create you too?"

Her mother replied, "Yes he did, my child."

Betty, not satisfied yet, asked, "What about Dad, grandad, grandma?"

Her mother replied, "Yes sweety, all of them were created by God."

Betty said, "You must be kidding me Mom. Do you really mean no one has made love in the family in the last 100 years? no wonder we are a crazy family!"


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Loud drums

Tom: Why can't King Kong play the drums?

Jerry: That's because he is too sensitive.

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The Maldives experience

Mona was discussing her solo trip to Maldives. He told her friend Jasmine that she had a good time. She went on to describe how awesome the beaches of Maldives were.

Mona had a twinkle in her eye when she declared she had some good and some bad experiences.

Jasmine could not wait to hear it, so she urged Mona to tell her quickly what the experiences were.

Mona said, "Well..the good news is....I shared the room with two amazingly handsome men!"

Jasmine exclaimed, "Really? What could possibly the bad news?"

Mona replied, "They were dating each other."

Roma and Soma

Roma and Soma were centenarian twin sisters living in an old age home in Kolkata, India. A leading newspaper was doing an article on twin sisters above 100 years of age worldwide. Roma and Soma were contacted for an interview and a photography session.

Roma was hard of hearing, so she was a little dependent on Soma.

After the interview, the photographer told them he would be taking some snaps. 

 

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He said he would take our pictures."

The photographer then said to them, "Please sit down on the couch."
 
Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He asked us to sit down on the couch." So they both sat down on the couch.

The photographer then said to them, "Can you both hold hands please."

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He asked us to hold hands." So they held hands.

The photographer then said to them, "Please don't move, stay still. I have got to focus."

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He said he has got to focus."

Roma's eyes lit up and she said, "Do you mean - both of us??"