Job satisfaction

Q. What do you do for better job satisfaction?

A. Do only so much work that you feel you are paid more than you deserve!

Set a good example

Rohan who was in high school asked his pretty history teacher, Sara, out on a date. She agreed and they went to a nice restaurant.

Rohan offered her beer but Sara refused saying, "I am a teacher and I am expected to set a good example for my students. What do I say to my students if they learn that I drink?"

Rohan offered her a cigarette but Sara refused again saying, "What am I supposed to say to my students when they learn that I smoke?"

On their way back, they passed by a motel, and Rohan said to her, "What about going into that motel and having a good time?"

Sara agreed immediately.

Rohan said, "so what will you tell your students when they learn about this?"

The history teacher replied, "Something that I always tell them. You don't need to drink or smoke if you wanna have a good time!" 

Funny jokes-Strange request

Sammy went to a carpenter and said, "I need a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long. You think you can make it?"

"Well..." mused the carpenter. "I can do it....but I wonder what would you want a box like that for?"

"It is like this," said Sammy, "my friend moved to a new neighborhood and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."

The other woman

During the proceedings of a court case, the lawyer asked the woman in the witness stand, "Ms. Maira, the defendant's wife has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Do you admit that you went to the Crescent hotel with Mr. Jones?"

"Ah, yes," acknowledged Maira with a sob, "but I couldn't help it."

The lawyer asked, "Why couldn't you help it?"

Maira said, "Mr. Jones deceived me."

The lawyer asked, "Be specific. What do you mean?"

"Well, when we signed in," she cried, "he told the hotel clerk I was his wife."

With all my love

A jeweler was approached by his regular client, Mrs. Havers with a strange request.

Mrs. Havers, who was divorced, asked the jeweler to make two earrings from her inscribed wedding band - while one earring read 'with all', the other one read, 'my love.'

The jeweler was curious and asked her why she wanted it like that.

Mrs. Havers replied, "Its only to remember that the next time someone says that to me, I should let it go in one ear and out the other."

Out of bed

Laura, the hooker, went to see the doc, as she was not feeling too well lately.

Guess what advise the doctor gave her.

The good doctor asked her to stay out of bed for 3 days.

Short funny jokes-Returned

Dr. Herbert called Mrs. Hanks and said, "Mrs. Hanks, your check has returned."

Mrs. Hanks commented, "So has my back pain."

No need

Alex, the shepherd heads to town to buy supplies for his sheep.
While loading up his pickup, he sees Alice, the hooker.

"Hello sweety," he asks, "so what are you charging these days?"

"Hundred bucks," Alice replies.

"If every man raised sheep, we wouldn't need you women," Alex spit out in disgust.

"Of yeah?" she said, "and if vibrators could cut the grass, we wouldn't need you men, either."

Doctor jokes-Shots

Dr. Jones enters the student classroom and starts shouting, "Tetanus! Insulin! Booster!"

One student asked another, "What the hell do you think he is doing?"

The other student replied, "Calling the shots."