The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
Really funny jokes, adult jokes, good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, very funny jokes, kids jokes, funny pictures
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Adult jokes-Impotency clinic
Q: Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic?
A: It's a soft job.
A: It's a soft job.
Labels:
Adult jokes,
Good jokes,
Short funny jokes
Friday, January 11, 2013
Funny jokes-Secret to good health
Brittany and Lisa were discussing their busy schedules.
Lisa said, "Brittany, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I have to know what's your secret?"
"My secret? Every morning, without fail, I wake up at six o'clock sharp."
"You wake up at six o'clock?"
"Yes, and then I look at the clock, see what time it is, and go back to sleep for another four hours."
Lisa said, "Brittany, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I have to know what's your secret?"
"My secret? Every morning, without fail, I wake up at six o'clock sharp."
"You wake up at six o'clock?"
"Yes, and then I look at the clock, see what time it is, and go back to sleep for another four hours."
Labels:
Clean jokes,
Good jokes
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Good jokes-Chemistry formula
Chemistry formula
Teacher : What happens when Carbon Monoxide reacts with 2 Molecules of Iron??
Student : COFFEE !!
Teacher : How ?
Student : CO + 2Fe = COFFEE !!
Teacher : What happens when Carbon Monoxide reacts with 2 Molecules of Iron??
Student : COFFEE !!
Teacher : How ?
Student : CO + 2Fe = COFFEE !!
Labels:
Clean jokes,
Good jokes
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Clean jokes-Winning Knight Riders team
Q. What's the difference between a winning Kolkata Knight Riders team and a UFO?
A. Someone has seen a UFO.
A. Someone has seen a UFO.
Labels:
Clean jokes,
SMS jokes
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hilarious jokes-Two morons
Chris and Bob went fishing. The catch was impressive that day. Chris said: “Bob, mark X on the side of the boat so that we can spot the place tomorrow.”
Bob: “You crazy? Do you think you are going to get the same boat on hire tomorrow?”
Bob: “You crazy? Do you think you are going to get the same boat on hire tomorrow?”
Labels:
Hilarious jokes,
Short funny jokes
Monday, January 7, 2013
Really funny jokes-Fighting fit
Two childhood friends were preparing themselves for physicals for induction in the US army. Both of them were unwilling to join the army but were helpless because of stringent US laws. Somebody suggested that if one didn’t have any teeth, they were rejected. They decided to give it a shot and got all their teeth removed.
There was a line of young aspirants when they arrived at the recruitment center. They both felt it would be unwise to stand in the queue next to each other. So one stood in the line and the other waited for the line to extend a bit when a bulky, young unwashed boy took the line. The other decided to stand next to the bulky boy.
When the first boy’s turn came, the doctor asked if he had anything to say regarding his health. The boy said he did not have any teeth. The doctor ordered the boy to open his mouth, ran his fingers around the kid’s gum and asked him to stand in the rejection queue.
The line progressed and ultimately it was the bulky boy’s turn. The doctor asked him: “Anything wrong with you?” The boy replied: “I have piles.”
The doctor asked the boy to undress. He then made the boy bend and spread. He inserted his finger inside, moved it around for a while as if to make sure, pulled back his finger and declared that the boy indeed had piles and announced him unfit.
The doctor declared "Next"
When the second toothless boy stepped up to the doctor, he was asked if he had anything to declare.
The boy shouted: “No sir, not a damn thing wrong with me. Give me that rifle and march me to the border.”
There was a line of young aspirants when they arrived at the recruitment center. They both felt it would be unwise to stand in the queue next to each other. So one stood in the line and the other waited for the line to extend a bit when a bulky, young unwashed boy took the line. The other decided to stand next to the bulky boy.
When the first boy’s turn came, the doctor asked if he had anything to say regarding his health. The boy said he did not have any teeth. The doctor ordered the boy to open his mouth, ran his fingers around the kid’s gum and asked him to stand in the rejection queue.
The line progressed and ultimately it was the bulky boy’s turn. The doctor asked him: “Anything wrong with you?” The boy replied: “I have piles.”
The doctor asked the boy to undress. He then made the boy bend and spread. He inserted his finger inside, moved it around for a while as if to make sure, pulled back his finger and declared that the boy indeed had piles and announced him unfit.
The doctor declared "Next"
When the second toothless boy stepped up to the doctor, he was asked if he had anything to declare.
The boy shouted: “No sir, not a damn thing wrong with me. Give me that rifle and march me to the border.”
Labels:
Hilarious jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Short funny jokes-No evidence
Guess what the White House claims - that there is no evidence at all that earth has been visited by aliens.
Good lord, they can't even find aliens sneaking across the border.
Good lord, they can't even find aliens sneaking across the border.
Labels:
Clean jokes,
Short funny jokes
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Funny jokes-Superb answers to Why Aren't You Married Yet?
Superb answers to "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"
You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
It gives my mother something to live for.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
It gives my mother something to live for.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
Labels:
Hilarious jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Cricket joke-Pune Warriors fan
If you see a Pune Warriors fan on a motorcycle, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your motorcycle.
It could be your motorcycle.
Labels:
Short funny jokes,
short humor jokes
Friday, January 4, 2013
Diet Plan
Tina : I am much at ease on the second day of my diet.
Rina : Is that becuase the body adapts to the diet plan by then?
Tina: No, it's because I would have given up by the next day.
Rina : Is that becuase the body adapts to the diet plan by then?
Tina: No, it's because I would have given up by the next day.
Labels:
Short funny jokes,
SMS jokes
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Kids jokes-Ignore
Dad: “Son, a wise person never replies to a fool’s question, simply ignores it.”
Son: “Right dad, I went through the examination papers, ignored them and came out.”
Son: “Right dad, I went through the examination papers, ignored them and came out.”
Labels:
Clean jokes,
Kids Jokes
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Hilarious jokes-Speech disorder
Jeremy, a stud farm owner, is visited by a strange customer. It's a pygmy with a speech disorder who says he wants to buy a horse.
Jeremy asks the pygmy if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth," the pygmy replies.
So Jeremy shows him a female one.
"Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouth?"
So Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouth. Can I thee her eyesth?"
So Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shows the eyes.
"Ok, what about her earth?"
Now Jeremy is getting really irritated, but he picks up the pygmy one more time and shows the ears.
"OK, finally, I'd like to thee her twat."
With that, Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shoves his head up the horse's canal then pulls him out.
Shaking his head, the pygmy says, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to thee her run!"
Jeremy asks the pygmy if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth," the pygmy replies.
So Jeremy shows him a female one.
"Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouth?"
So Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouth. Can I thee her eyesth?"
So Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shows the eyes.
"Ok, what about her earth?"
Now Jeremy is getting really irritated, but he picks up the pygmy one more time and shows the ears.
"OK, finally, I'd like to thee her twat."
With that, Jeremy picks up the pygmy and shoves his head up the horse's canal then pulls him out.
Shaking his head, the pygmy says, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to thee her run!"
Labels:
animal jokes,
Hilarious jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
The most loved one
Guess who is the most loved one in their lives?
1. A Chinese man
There is a wife and a girlfriend in his life but he adores his wife the most.
2. An American man
There is a wife and a girlfriend in his life but he adores his girlfriend the most.
3. An Indian man
There is a wife and three girlfriends in his life but he adores his house-maid the most.
1. A Chinese man
There is a wife and a girlfriend in his life but he adores his wife the most.
2. An American man
There is a wife and a girlfriend in his life but he adores his girlfriend the most.
3. An Indian man
There is a wife and three girlfriends in his life but he adores his house-maid the most.
Labels:
Adult jokes,
Good jokes
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