Bigger cycle

When I bought my daughter a bigger bicycle, she insisted on parking it next to her small old cycle.
She said, "The big one is the daddy of the small cycle - wait, I have a name for it - Popcycle."

Really funny jokes-Blonde with new boat

Betty, a 28-year-old blonde, fulfilled her dream of owning a boat when she purchased one in the summer. So, one afternoon, she was all set to try out her brand new motorboat. But there was a problem - the motorboat would barely perform. She tried everything, checked the mechanisms again, but the boat failed to function properly.

She tried again the next day and the day after that, but the motorboat would only splutter and strain but not pick up speed. She saw some fishermen and thought of asking them for help. She hoped that they would help identify the problem.

A fisherman called Ted inspected the boat and confirmed that the engine and out drive seemed to be in order. Ted then jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for any problems. What he saw made him laugh so hard, he came up choking and gasping for air. When the other fishermen asked him what was so funny, he replied, "The trailer is still attached to the boat!"

One line jokes-Miracle drug

Liza: Do you believe in a miracle drug?

Donna : Sure I do. If it is now available at the same price as last year.

Hilarious jokes-Ten funny Burglar Stories

1. Investigating a purse snatching in Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

2. In Nashville, they tell of a burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

3. In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran......but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner knocked him and called the police.

4. In Rhode Island, police were sure they had the right man when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters.

5. Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.

6. In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes.

7. In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid ID. in a "Seven-Eleven" robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

8. Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

9. A robber, in a town in Germany, was caught after he escaped with his swag but he left his trousers behind. Police successfully arrested him at a railway station trying to board a train in his underpants. You couldn't invent these funny occurrences.

10.A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal in Adelaide, Australia.

One line jokes-Fungus

My Grandpa says ex's are like fungus, they keep coming back.

Really funny jokes-Health problems

Suzie, a hooker, goes to her doctor for her quarterly checkup.

The doctor asked, "Is there any particular problem that you want to talk about?"

"Yes, I have noticed lately that even if I get a small cut, it seems to bleed for a very long time and the clotting is delayed," she replied. "Is there any chance that I have hemophilia?"

"Hmm," the doctor said, "Hemophilia is an inheritable disease, normally affecting only males but it is possible for women to transmit it to their male children. Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?"

Suzie started making some mental calculations and replied, "About $1000 on an average."

Lawyer jokes-Location of right foot

Absolutely hilarious exchange of words in court

Lawyer: Please tell the court the location of your left foot immediately before the impact.

Defendant : Immediately before the impact, my left foot was located at the immediate end of my left leg.