Hilarious jokes-Lawyer speak

When the man in the street says: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," the lawyer writes:

"Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures."

Light bulb jokes-Artists

How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

One line jokes-Biology

Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.

Really funny jokes-Prohibited!

How the law works in different countries

In you are in the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In you are in Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In you are in Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In you are in France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
In you are in Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited by law is obligatory.

Doctor jokes-Some consolation

Fred was admitted to a hospital for a cerebral aneurysm surgery. Just before the operation, a worried Fred asked the doctor, "I heard this operation is highly risky. What are my chances of survival?"

The Surgeon replied: "I'm absolutely positive that you will survive the operation."

Fred, a little relieved, but still in doubt, asked, "How can you be so sure?"

The Surgeon said, "Four out of five patients die in this operation, and last week, my fourth patient died."

Temptation

Ron's terribly overweight and his doctor put him on a diet plan. His wife Carla has to keep an eye on him so he doesn't indulge himself.

On his birthday, he helps himself to a large piece of chocolate cake, and his wife reprimands him for asking for me.

Ron protests, "Don't you see, I can resist everything except temptation."

Really funny jokes-Calm and confident

Sunny and Logan were shipwrecked on a remote island. After 2 days, Sunny realized there's no way out of the island and began sobbing. He cried, "There's no food or water here. We are going to die!"

Logan, who was resting against a palm tree, seemed to be calm and composed. Seeing Logan so relaxed, Sunny yelled at him. "Don't you understand? We are going to die!!"

Logan replied, "You don't understand, I make $250,000 a week."

Sunny stared at him in disbelief and asked, "How does it matter?? We're on this god-forsaken island with no food and no water! We're so going to die!!!"

Logan said, "You're not getting it. I earn $250,000 a week and I give 20% to charity. My pastor will find me!"