Really funny jokes-Reliability of birth control pills

A blonde couple - Brenda and her husband, Joe go to their pharmacist and begin to ask questions like if the pharmacy checks for medications past their expiration date and the reliability of a certain manufacturer that makes birth control pills. After answering their queries, the pharmacist asks them what is wrong. Brenda explains, "I have been using birth control pills and despite that, I continue to get pregnant."

The pharmacist is astonished and asks Brenda if she takes the pills every day.

Brenda replies, "My husband Joe takes them every day."

"Why???" the pharmacist looks questioningly at the blonde couple.

"Oh, after we read all those possible side-effects, Joe offered 'Listen honey... I don't want you taking that stuff.. it's too dangerous.....let ME take them.' "

Duplicating life

Ronald, a scientist by profession, was anti-God. He had a chance to meet God and said, "Well, you are not needed any more, we have come up with a way to create humans without you."

God smiled and said, "All right, let me see you do it."

Ronald bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful of mud .

God stopped him and said, "Wait a minute. Get your own dirt!"

Hilarious Lawyer jokes

Lance, the lawyer: Have you lived in this town all your life?

Vinnie, the witness: Not yet.

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Lance, the lawyer: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?

Vinnie, the witness: The victim lived.

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Lance, the lawyer: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Vinnie, the witness: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

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Lance, the lawyer: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?

Vinnie, the witness: He didn’t offer me anything; he just said I could have the furniture.

Funny jokes-Two pharmacists

Mark and Martha, two young pharmacists are having a professional discussion at their office.

Mark : What do you want this time, with coat or without coat?

Martha: Let it be with coating, because I don't want to release granules earlier.

Mark: So, Shall I begin molding?

Martha: No, first close the door and window and switch off, because this work is light sensitive.

Clean jokes-Bald eagle

Jack: How will you recognize a bald eagle?

Jill: All his feathers will be combed over to one side.

Short funny jokes-Higher powers

Santa : Do you know, Atheists do not solve exponential equations.

Banta: Really? Why is that?

Santa: That's because they don't have faith in higher powers.

Really funny jokes- Classified classics

A compilation of hilarious classified classics!!!

** A superb and economical restaurant. Fine food, expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

** No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

** Sale! Sale! An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

** We don't tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

** Great chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

** Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

** Dinner Special - Turkey $2.75; Chicken or Beef $2.50; Children $2.00.

** Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

One line jokes-Amnesia

I liked the sound of the word "Amnesia", and then I could not remember it.

Hilarious jokes-Mexican bandit

Agusto, a Mexican bandit robbed a bank. As he was trying to escape with the booty, the sheriff and his deputy chased him and tracked him down in the woods.

Agusto was handcuffed, and the sheriff, who didn't know Spanish, asked him where he had hidden the loot.

"No se nada," he replied.

The sheriff put a gun to Agusto's head, turned to his deputy who could speak Spanish as well as English, and said, "Tell him that if he doesn't disclose where the money is right now, I'll blow his head to smithereens."

On receiving the translation in Spanish, Agusto got excited and started talking. "Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadradas hasta ese gran arbol. Debajo del arbol, alli esta el dinero."

The sheriff asked the deputy, "What's he saying?"

The deputy replied, "He says he wants to die like a man."