Passwords

R&D by the Indian lovers' association says that only 7% of people in love become life partners. The remaining end up as passwords!

Hide!

Grandpa said to Little Tommy, "Isn't that your class teacher walking in through the gate? She must have come to inquire why you missed school today? Go and hide somewhere."

Little Tommy replied, "Grandpa, YOU hide! I called her and told her you died today."

Discount on electronics

DMart was offering a big discount on some electronics. A refrigerator had a picture cut-out of a beautiful girl wearing a short skirt.

Bubba, who had come to the store with his wife to buy a refrigerator, was constantly staring at the picture of the girl. His wife hissed and said, "Let's go home Bubba. The offer is on the refrigerator only." 

Poem and essay

Johnny: What is the difference between a poem and an essay?

Barry: Even a word uttered by one's lover is like a poem while just one word uttered by one's wife is like an essay.

The importance of a husband

"Mom, I don't want to get married", said Ana to her mother. She continued, "Why is everyone interested in getting me married? Dad has been pestering me, Aunt Linda has broached the subject a dozen times. I am an independent woman and I do not need to be tied up with a man to spend the rest of my life. I am earning well, I am single and I am happy!"

Her mother tried to pacify her and said, "Darling, you are my most beautiful creation. You are young, ambitious and I am sure you will achieve a lot in your life. But even you will make mistakes in life like everyone else does. On such occasions, will you not need someone to blame? So please understand the importance of a husband."

Reciprocate

Tina asked her husband, "Why did you not attend the funeral of your friend's wife?"

Joe replied, "Because it is embarrassing. I have attended funerals of 2 of his wives and this is the death of his third wife, while I have never been able to reciprocate."

Marrying Grandma

Little Tommy says to his father, "Daddy, I want to get married soon."

His father asked, "Why is that?"

Little Tommy replied, "I don't know but I want to get married. If you don't find a bride for me, I will marry grandma."

His father was amused and asked, "But why will you marry my mother?"

Little Tommy replied, "If you married my mother, why can't I marry yours?"