Obama jokes-Same responsibility

Barack Obama’s daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it’ll be cleaned up by future generations.”
–Jay Leno

Really funny jokes-No payment for six months

Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it."

The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months."

Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, "Who told you about us?"

Kids jokes-Save some money

Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.

Clean jokes-Open the trunk

A Lebanese man was driving when he came to a Syrian Military checkpoint, staffed by a battalion that consisted of young men from Homs. The young soldier pointed his rifle into this man's window and asked to see his papers. Then he asked him to get out of the car and open his trunk.

Realizing that if the soldier saw what was in his trunk he would be arrested, he told the young Homsi soldier that if he took his foot off the break, his car would roll down the hill. He instructed the soldier to get in the car and step on the break while the man opened the trunk.

The man opened the trunk and yelled to the soldier sitting in the car that there was nothing suspicious there. The young Homsi was satisfied and the thanked the Lebanese man and sent him on his way!

Animal jokes-Pampered cow

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Really funny jokes-Small take

A West Virginia man walked into a Kwik Stop and asked for all the cash in the drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for 3 hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

Good jokes-Shaking a carpet

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?"