Really funny jokes-illegal to count

A Swedish tourist in New York was standing in front of the Empire State building, and started counting all the floors.

A policeman approached him and thought to himself: "This guy must be Swedish" and decided to take advantage of him. He went up to him and said: "Do you know that it is illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United States?"

The Swede replied: "No sir, I had no idea."

The police officer then said: "I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $10.00 per floor you counted."

The Swede then said: "Oh, I counted 50 floors, sir."

After the police officer left, the Swede thought to himself: "My, how these Americans are stupid! I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had actually counted 51!"

Short funny jokes-Is it yours?

"Dad, I'm pregnant," declared the daughter.

"Hold on a second. Are you certain it's yours?" the Polish father responded.

Knock knock jokes-The interrupting cow

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"The interrupting cow."
"The interrupting cow wh-"
"MOOOO!"
"Very f-"
"MOOOO!"
"I get i-"
"MOOOO!"
"OK, that's get-"
"MOOOO!"
"Seriously, that's get-"
"MOOOO!"
"SHUT U-"
"MOOOO!"
"Go to-"
"MOOOO!"
"You're being a-"
"MOOOO!"

Really funny jokes-Switching the birthday gift

Mike bought a piano for Jane on her birthday. After a few days, Mike's friend inquired with him how Jane was doing with the piano.

"Well," said Mike, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet."

"Why is that?" asked the friend.

Mike answered, "that's because with a clarinet, she cannot sing."

Teacher jokes-Expand

One day, Little Tommy asked his Class teacher, "Teacher, why are the days longer in the summer?"

The teacher answered, "It's because of the heat. It makes everything expand."

Good jokes-Labor issues

One Afghan and one Indian labor minister, were in a meeting discussing labor issues.

The Afghan labor minister said; ”I am in eternally stressed. There are labor issues in my country that create hundreds of problems for me every day.”

The Indian;”That’s no problem at all. There are labor issues in my country that produce 60000 babies every day.”

Really funny jokes-The patch up job

Newly married Tina had committed a blunder in her husband’s absence. As soon as the man returned from work, she blurted; “Here I was ironing your finest suit and burnt this hole in the seat of your trousers.”

The husband, large hearted that he was, said; “I have another pair of trousers that matches that suit, so do not worry.”

Tina: ” Thank God for that, because I was able to patch up the hole using those trousers only.”