Adult jokes-No network

Jake and Mary have an agreement that anytime they want to make love, they will call it a "PHONE CALL".

One day Jake sends his son to tell his mother that he wants to make a phone call and Mary replies; tell your father, there is no network..

Jake: tell your mother that if there is no network at home, then I'll go to a public phone..

Mary: tell your father that if he dares go to a public phone, then I'll open a call center at home.

Short funny jokes-Wet weather

If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?

An umbrella.

Kids jokes-Spelling of icholas

A little kid raised his hand in class and asked the teacher, "Can you please tell me , ma'am how do you spell icholas?"

Miss Mary, the teacher was rather dazed. "Don't you mean Nicholas?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. I've written the 'N' already."

Really funny jokes-Close shave

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

Hilarious jokes-Perfection

Joseph, the preacher had a question for the people in the church. "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. If anybody has ever known a perfect woman, Please raise your hand."

No one reacted.

He then asked, "Is there anybody who has known a perfect man?"

Albert, an elderly man raised his hand.

"Are you sure you have known an absolutely perfect man?" the preacher asked, somewhat surprised.

"Uh, I didn't know him personally," replied Albert, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."

One line jokes-Age

Experience doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes experience comes alone.

Really funny jokes-No stock

There were two grocery stores in the same lane in Delhi-India. One was owned by Abdul and the other one belonged to Kumar.

Abdul had a sign outside his shop, "Peaches @ Rupees 150 a kilo". A lady, went in and asked for them.

"I am so sorry - they are out of stock right now, come back tomorrow and I'll have them ready for you", said Abdul.

So she ventured into Kumar's grocery store across the street. But his peaches were available for Rupees 200 a kilo! At least he has them in stock, she thought to herself.

"Your prices are very steep" she said. "Abdul sells them at Rupees 150 a kilo".

"You are right, says Kumar, "and when I run out of stock, mine will also be priced Rupees 150 a kilo!"