Funny jokes-Plenty of room

We were leaving an Italian restaurant after dinner, when we passed another couple on our way out. The woman was animatedly describing an imported SUV to her husband : "It was so huge that you could hit a family of four, and you wouldn't even notice!"

"Yep," the husband replied, "and there would still be enough room to toss them in the back!"

Short funny jokes-Afford

The economy is so bad, if you go to a McDonald's joint now, the counter person is most likely to ask you, "Can you afford fries with that"?

Lawyer jokes-Marital status

Lawyer: What is your name?
Witness: James Brien
Lawyer: And what is your marital status?
Witness: Fair

Lawyer: Are you married?
Witness:: Nope, I'm divorced.
Lawyer: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
Witness: A lot of things I didn't know about.

Really funny jokes-Disturbed Anthropologist

James, an anthropologist decides to study the natives of a distant tropical island. He goes there, finds a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote location where he would make his collections. The river takes them downstream, and in the eve of the of the second day, they hear the distant sound of drums. Being the nervous types, James is disturbed by the sound of the drums and asks the guide, "What are those drums?"

The guide replies, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."

Then, after a few hours, the drums suddenly stop! James is nervous as hell and he shouts at the guide: "Those Drums have stopped, what now?"

The guide bends down, covers his head with his hands and says, "Bass Solo".

Short funny jokes-Check ride

Two pilots are discussing their first check ride. One pilot says to the other - A check ride ought to be like a skirt: Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

Funny jokes-The Queen's undergarments

The latest sale on eBay
- a pair of undergarments that once belonged to Queen Elizabeth.

The price
- a little above a hundred thousand dollars.

The winning bidder could not be identified but his user name was "one sick bugger."

Doctor jokes-Change a light bulb

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.

Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now.