Really funny jokes-Deviation from tracks

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

On the next Railway station the driver was caught: He was questioned how the incident happened.

He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc.

Then authorities questioned : Are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overrun that person.

The driver replied: “Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.”

Really funny jokes-Deep hole

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
“Wow…that looks deep.”
“Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.”
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise.
“Jeeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise.“
They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait… and wait. Nothing.
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, “Hey…over here in the weeds, there’s a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it’s GOTTA make some noise.”
The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it’s legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they’ve just seen…
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. “Hey… you two guys seen my goat out here?” “You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!”
“Nah”, says the farmer, “That couldn’t have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie.”

Clean jokes-Before it gets cold

A boy takes his girlfriend on a date. They went to a coffee shop and they ordered coffee.

The boy told to his girlfriend, “Drink quickly before it gets cold.”

Girlfriend asked with surprise, “Why?”

The boy replied, “Don’t u see, Hot coffee is for $5 and cold coffee for $10 !”

Sardar jokes-Questions

Banta and and son went fishing one day. Sitting in the boat for a couple of hours gave them not much to do, so the son started thinking about the world around him. He began to get curious so he asked his father some questions.

“How does this boat float?”

Banta thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, but soon came up with another one, “How do fish breath underwater?”

Once again Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later the boy asked Banta, “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”

Banta immediately assured him, “Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”

Really funny jokes-Saving the president

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I’ll give it to you.”
The first boy said, “Please, I’d like a ticket to Disneyland!”

“I’ll personally hand it to you,” said Bush. “I’d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,” the second boy said.
“I’ll buy them myself and give them to you,” said Bush. “And I’d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,” said the third boy.

“I’ll personally … wait a second, son, you’re not handicapped!”

“No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.”

Funny jokes-Severe vibration

According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.The vibration stopped immediately.A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.

Humor jokes-The new bull

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?"
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"
"So, how'd you get away?"
"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have crapped all over the place."
"I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"