Really funny jokes-Drowning Woman

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law. "
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Really funny jokes-Head Cleaner

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

Funny jokes clean -The holy man

A yogi (holy man) walked into a pizza parlor.
"Make me one with everything," he said to the waiter.
When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"
The proprietor said, "Change must come from within."

Short funny jokes-Punishment

What is the best punishment for a woman?

Give her new clothes,
matching her jewelry,
and nice cosmetics and then,
lock her in a room without a mirror

Short funny jokes-Worse

What's worse finding a worm in a apple?
A half eaten worm!

Really funny jokes-Scuba diving

I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii with the Air Force.
He was explaining how the troops were learning to scuba-dive. "We used the buddy system," he said, "and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters."
Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, "What do you do if you see a shark?"
My son said, "Swim faster than my buddy."

Jokes funny-Door to door

Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.
But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.
Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.
Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."