Short funny jokes-Hydrogen atoms

Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?"
The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

Really funny jokes-The Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps, "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked. "No." she said. "Good," he answered.

Humor jokes-Super models

Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the super model Stephanie Seymour.
"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got?
"My wife" said the other with a heavy sigh!

Sports humor-Worst player

One day, John Smith decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if he could do better elsewhere.
He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was obviously upset.
He turned to the caddy and said, "You know I must be the worst golfer in the world."
The caddy replied, "I think not sir, I have heard there is a guy named John Smith from across town who is the worst player ever!"

Short funny jokes-Hee haw

What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

Kids jokes-Ketchup

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

Blonde jokes-Intelligence

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.