Good deed

Fred was at the doors of Heaven. Before allowing him entry, he was asked a number of questions.

One of the questions asked was if he had done any good deeds.

Fred replied, "Yes, of course. I had chanced upon a gang of ruffians who had accosted a young girl. I ordered them to leave her alone but they just laughed. So, I confronted the gang leader and asked him to get lost with his gang. When he would not listen, I gave him a punch right in his face, then another one into his ribs. I kicked him, pulled his hair and announced, "If you care for your life, leave NOW!"

St. Peter was amazed by the courage of the man and asked him, "When did this happen?"

Fred replied, "Just a few minutes back."

Croc scare

Old Mr. Jones living in the countryside, sent his grandson Nick to the riverside to fetch a bucket of water. When Nick dipped the bucket in the water, he saw what appeared to be a crocodile. Terrified, Nick dropped the bucket and ran back to the house. He said to his grandfather, "I cannot get water, Grandpa. There is a big croc in the river. It scared me to death."

Old Mr. Jones said to Nick, "You can ignore that croc, Nick. He's been around for many years now and I have never heard about the old fella hurting anyone. Maybe he is as terrified of you as you are of him."

Nick replied, "Well, if he is as terrified of me as I am of him, then I don't think the water is good to drink."

Airplane design

A small airplane encounters engine failure and begins to nose-dive. The pilot manages to land the aircraft safely on the ocean. He announces that it is an emergency and that all passengers should remain seated. He further declares that the airplane was designed to stay afloat for an hour provided that the doors are not opened. This would give rescue teams enough time to reach out to help them.

A soon as the announcement is over, one of the passengers, Mr. Gupta, runs to open the door. While the passengers look in horror, the pilot yells at Mr. Gupta, "Please do not do that! Didn't you hear what I announced? This airplane won't sink for a while if the door remains closed!"

Mr. Gupta answered, "Ya ya. This plane is also designed to fly, and we all saw how good it was!"

Flea infested

Mrs. Thatcher was seated at the park when she noticed a man take the leash off his dog so that the dog could roam around freely in the park. She said to the man, "Do you mind keeping the pet next to you, mister. I can already feel a flea in my sneakers."

The man called out to his pet, "Buzo, please come here. That lady has fleas."

Flu

Nick, who was unwell for the entire week, called the doctor to visit him at his home.

The doctor arrived and examined Nick. When the doctor was writing his diagnosis & prescription on his notepad, Nick asked him, "Flu?"

The doctor replied, "No, I drove my car."

Fear of flying

Mrs. Coughlan was boarding an airplane for the first time and she was very nervous. She requested to see the pilot and her request was granted. When she met the pilot, she said, "This is my first time. Please assure me you will bring me down safely."

The pilot amused, replied to her, "I can assure you this, madam, that I have never left anyone up there in my entire career."

Cool junior doc

When Tracy went to see the doctor, she had no idea that she would be in for a big surprise. Dr. Jenkins was out, so a junior doctor examined her. Five minutes into the examination hall, and the junior doctor declared that Tracy was pregnant.

She was so shocked, she ran out of the examination hall.

Just then Dr. Jenkins entered the clinic, and saw Tracy in a hysterical condition.

When Tracy told him what happened, he asked her to sit down and relax.

Dr. Jenkins then marched to the examination room and asked the junior doctor, "Are you out of your mind? Don't you know Tracy is 61 years old, she has two grown-up children and several grand-children.Why did you tell her she's pregnant?"

The junior doctor, who was scribbling something on a notepad, continued to write and answered, "She doesn't have hiccups anymore, does she?"

Disneyland

After our hectic 4-day trip to Disneyland in Orlando, we were headed home. As we drove away, my son Neel sighed and said, "Goodbye Donald!"

My daughter Neha waved her hand and said, "Goodbye Daisy!"

I signed and said, "Goodbye dollars!"

Turbulence

A Boeing plane got caught up in turbulence and the passengers were all scared. To keep the passengers calm, the pilot ordered that they all be served beverages.The first passenger said, "I would like a cola".

When the next passenger was asked what she would like, she replied in a shaky voice, "Just give me whatever the pilot is having."

Bartender's dilemma

Daniel, who had lost his arms in a car accident few years back, walked into a bar. He asked Joe the bartender for a glass of beer. When Joe pushed a glass to him, Daniel said, "Listen buddy, I don't have arms. Do you mind holding the glass up to my mouth?"

Joe obliged.

Daniel said after a while, "Can you please pull out my handkerchief from my pocket and wipe my mouth?"

Joe said "Sure" and obliged.

Daniel finished his beer and said, "Do you mind reaching out into my left pocket for the money."

Joe did as told.

Daniel thanked him and said, "You have been very considerate. Can you guide me to the toilet please."

Joe replied, "Ya, you need to get out of the door, take a right, walk 3 blocks, and then turn left. There's one in the store over there."   

Which side of the bar?

Danny, the big wrestler entered a bar and ordered his beer. He sipped from his mug, then loudly announced,  "All you people of the left side of the bar are bl**dy idiots!"

There was silence in the bar. Danny asked again ,"Does anyone have a problem with that?"

He had a few more sips. Then announced again "All you people of the right side of the bar are cowards!"

There was silence in the bar.

He looked around and said, "Does anyone have a problem with that?"

A man got up and walked towards him. Danny looked him in the eye and said, "You got a problem, dude?"

The man replied, "No problem. I'm just going to the right side of the bar."

Old millionaire

Jason, an eighty-eight year old millionaire married a young girl Janie. After a few months, he went to see his doctor and told him that his wife was expecting a baby.

Dr. Smith simply said to him, "I want to share a story with you. A guy who was absent minded went hunting. Instead of his gun, he carried a walking stick to the jungle where he was attacked by a lion. He pointed his walking stick at the lion and shot it, killing it instantly."

"But that's impossible," said old Jason, "Someone else must have shot the lion."

"Exactly my point, " said Dr. Smith.

God's gifts

When I was tucking in my two little children to bed, I said that God had given us eyes so we could see the world. Then I touched my daughter Mary's ears and said that God gave us ears to hear. Touching little Jack's nose, I said that God gifted us nose to smell. Hands to work & eat, and legs to run.

Mary asked, "But Mom, God must have made a mistake with Jack bcoz his nose runs and his feet smell."

Paint job

The Jacksons were getting their house painted. While Mr. Jackson was in office, Mrs. Jackson was supervising the paint job at their home.

Mr. Jackson came home from work and leaned against a freshly pained wall.

The next day, Mrs. Jackson said to the painter, "Let me show you where my husband put his hand last nite."

Painter Joe nodded his head in disgust and said, "Listen lady, I have a whole day of work ahead of me. Do you mind making some coffee for me instead."

The delicious sandwich

There was this group of old ladies who met at a club every weekend to play bridge.

Half way through the game, One lady Elsa exclaimed, "Oh no! I am late. I have to get back home & prepare dinner for my husband, Gilbert. If I do not reach home before he is back from work, all hell will break lose!

When Elsa reached home, she realized there was only a loaf of bread and two eggs in the kitchen. Since there was no time to go to the store to buy stuff, she searched the cupboard and found a can of cat-food. As she could not think of anything else, she made some sandwiches with the egg and the cat-food just as Gilbert entered the door.

She watched in disgust as Gilbert wolfed down the sandwich. Expecting to be reprimanded, she was surprised when Gilbert announced that this was the best sandwich she had ever made for him and that she should make it more often.

So Elsa made her husband the cat-food sandwich every time she went out with the old gals to play bridge. When she told her bridge mates about it, they were shocked! One of them said, "But he could die!"

After three months, Gilbert died.

When the old women met the next time for a game, one of them said to Elsa, "He died because of you. We had warned you against giving him cat-food but you did not listen. How could you be so calm enjoying the game knowing that he died because of you?!"

Elsa replied, "I am not responsible. He fell off a tree trying to catch a sparrow."

The confession

Priest James Asher was retiring and there was a dinner hosted in his honor. Politician Ron Craig who had grown up in that locality was chosen as the chief guest who would make a speech at the occasion. Since the politician was late, Priest James Asher decided to say a few words to the gathering while they waited for the politician to arrive.

Priest James began, "I want to share something with all of you. When I came to this parish for the first time, I had a negative impression after the 1st confession that I heard. The first person who came to the confessional told me that he was a thief. He had stolen gold ornaments from several households, but was able to bribe his way through the police , to avoid being jailed. He had several affairs, visited women in the night, had maimed and killed people. He had even smuggled and traded in drugs. I was so shocked to learn that one person could be involved in so many crimes, that I feared that my time here would not be a comfortable one. But as the days and weeks passed, I learned that people in this parish were not that bad, and I would get to like them."

Just as Priest James Asher finished talking, politician Ron Craig arrived and apologized for being late.

He started his speech by saying, "I remember the first day when Priest James Asher arrived. In fact, I had the privilege of being the first one to enter his confessional."

Memories of an elder sis

Memories of an elder sis

Anyone who has an elder sis will relate to all the below:

- you have been the object of her experiments. She has tried hairstyles, eyeliners, mascara on you

- she has played the teacher and you have been the pupil

- you have been beaten in the pursuit of control of the tv remote

- you have assisted her in experiments in cooking

- she has decided what you are going to be when you grow up

- she made you believe that your parents adopted you

- she has confined you to a room or a bathroom

- if you have been her partner-in-crime, she has taken all the reprimands & bestings for you

- you have felt a sense of security in school with her around

- you can't forget the excitement on you face when someone asked who was elder between the two

- all permissions to be taken from parents was her responsibility  

- you would get sadistic pleasure by irritating her

- she was and will be your bestest friend in the world
 

A good speech

Lydia said to her husband, "Phil, you delivered a great speech today."

Phil said, "Well, thank you. But you know what, the audience was full of stupid morons."

Lydia asked teasingly, "No wonder you started your speech with BROTHERS AND SISTERS!"

Strategy for survival

Ronald Gabriel was known for his love for golf. How good he was at the sport is another story.

Once while playing, the golf ball landed on an ant-hill. Ronald swung at the ball sitting on the ant-hill. One could see an explosion of mud and ants flying in the air. Everything seemed to have moved but not the golf ball which had not budged from its place.

So Ronald gave it another try and again mud & ants flew in all directions but the golf ball remained where it was.

Two ants, Rub & Dub, who had survived the assault were discussing their strategy for survival.

Rub asked, "What do you think should we do?"

Dub replied, "The only sensible thing to do is to get on the ball as as soon as possible."

Neil's letter

When my 5 year old son Neil was scribbling something on a notepad, I asked him teasingly, "Are you writing a letter to God?"

Neil replied, "No. I am writing a letter to myself."

I asked, "All right. What are you writing to yourself?"

Neil replied, "There's no way to know. I have not received the letter yet."

Books you should read

Betty was at home with her dad when she suddenly noticed her boyfriend Rob at the gate.

Betty said to Rob, "Did you come to borrow the book titled DAD DOESN'T LIKE IT by Roger Brown"

Rob replied, "No, I wanted to borrow the book SHOULD I WAIT FOR U IN THE PARK by Ruchi Mukherjee?"

Betty said, "I do not have that book. I suggest you borrow the one titled AT THE COFFEE SHOP by Nazir Hussain."

Rob said, "Ok, please also get THE SOONER THE BETTER by Cindy Chan."

Betty replied, "No problem. I will also fetch WON'T LET U DOWN by Ojas Patel."

Betty's dad said, "Don't tell me he is going to read all those books."

Besst said, "He will dad. He's very smart."

Dad barked, "All right. Just remember to add the book titled DO U THINK I AM STUPID! by James Bond."

Property agent

Ben, a property agent, was showing a condo to a couple, Mr. & Mrs. Jones, who wanted to occupy the property on rent.

Ben asked, "Are you both employed?"

The couple nodded in unison.

Ben asked, "Children?"

Mrs Jones, replied, "Three. Ages six, eight & nine."

Ben asked, "Animals?"

Mrs. Jones replied, "No no. They are all decent and well behaved children."

Acquit a murderer

The DA, staring at the jury of 12 in disbelief said, "How on earth could you acquit this murderer?"

One of them answered, "Insanity."

The DA said, "All 12 of you?"

Breaking the news

Doctor Ludwig called his patient Thomas and said, "I need to share two things with you. I am afraid the first bit of information is not good news. I will find it even harder to break the next bit of information to you."

Thomas braced himself and said to the doctor, "Okay, tell me, how bad is it?"

Doctor Ludwig said, "You have less than 48 hours to live."

Thomas exclaimed, "What??!! I can't believe this! What could we worse than this?"

Doctor Ludwig sighed and said, "I was unable to get through your phone since day before."

The flirting salesman

Dennis, a salesman at a clothing store, was a big flirt. He had often been warned for flirting with customers but he was not one to give up so soon.

One day, a pretty young thing came to the store and selecting a dress material, asked him, "How much for this fabric material for a new gown?"

Dennis replied, "For you, it's a kiss a meter."

The girl, shocked by this rude reply, quickly recovered and said, "Ok, I will take 12 meters then."

Dennis, not believing his good luck, quickly measured and wrapped the fabric. Then holding the parcel out to her, he looked at her with naughty eyes.

The girl, snatching the parcel from him and pointing towards an old man, said, "Grandpa here will settle the bill."

Understanding gadgets

Dora had always been scared of technology and was never good with gadgets. She had a talent for mixing up instructions. Within a week of her marriage, her hubby bought her a brand new state-of-the-art automatic coffee maker.

The salesman explained in details how that thing worked. Plugging it in - setting the timer. He explained to her that she can go back to bed and when she wakes up, the coffee is ready for her.

A couple of days later, Dora went to visit the store. When the salesman asked her how was the coffee maker working, Dora replied, "Oh, it's great! But there's one thing that I always wanted to ask you. Why do I have to go to sleep every time I want to make some coffee for my husband and me?”

I am a duck!

Mr. Pereira went to see a shrink about his son's problem.

He said to the shrink, "I am very anxious about my son's condition. He thinks he is a duck."

The shrink asked him, "Since when has he been displaying such behavior?"

Mr. Pereira replied, "Almost 6 months I guess."

The shrink exclaimed, "My god, why didn't you see me earlier about this problem?"

Mr. Pereira replied, "I am ashamed to say this. But we needed the eggs."

Earn a new phone

When Daniel returned home from one of his business trips, he noticed his son showing off a brand new mobile phone.

Daniel asked his son Stephen, "How did you get that?"

Stephen replied, "By getting lost."

Daniel asked, "Getting lost? What do you mean?"

Stephen replied, "While you were away, Mom's boss came home every night and gave me 10 pounds to get lost."

The brute

Joe was running a circus since the last 2 decades. When his lion tamer left, he knew he had to find a replacement soon. In reply to an ad, there were two people who turned up. One was an old guy called Johny and the other a stunning brunette called Lydia.

Joe handed them both a whip each and warned them that the lion was ferocious and quite a brute.

When asked who wanted to try their luck first, Lydia raised her hand. Leaving her whip behind, she simply walked into the lion's cage. Seeing her, the lion got up and charged towards her. Lydia unbuttoned her waistcoat revealing her smooth curves.

The lion stopped, lied down and rolled on the ground like a puppy. He started licking her feet. Joe was astounded by this sight.

He turned to the other candidate, Johny and said, "Well, can you beat that?"

"Sure", said old man Johnny, "Just get that wild animal out of there."

Upset boss

My boss, Mr. Somel was upset with me for coming late to work.

He shouted at me saying, "You should have been here at 9 am."

I replied, "Why? What happened at 9?"

Use of a cell phone

When Abdul went to talk to his shrink about his marital issues, the shrink asked him, "Do you talk to your wife when you make love at night?"

"Of course I do", replied Abdul, "What do you think I use my cell phone for?"

Thunder and lightening

When there was loud thunder and lightening, little Joey was rudely woken out of his slumber and he ran to his parents' bedroom.

His father tried to comfort him by saying, "There's no need to be scared of thunder & lightening. It's just some sound & flash that God makes when he is displeased with someone telling a lie."

Little Joey asked,"But why is God making those sounds at this hour? It's past midnight and everyone is fast asleep."

His father said, "Yes that's right, my son. But this is the time when newspapers get printed!"

Be polite!

When I took my son Neel to a restaurant to have pizza, I could see how impatient he was getting waiting for the pizza to arrive.

When the waiter finally served the pizza, Neel quickly took the bigger piece for himself.

I thought I needed to talk to him, and said, "Neel, you gotta learn to be polite."

"Huh", said Neel, "What was that about?"

"You know what I am talking about", I said.

"Ok" said Neel. "If you had to pick up first, which one would you take?"

I replied, "The smaller one, of course."

Neel shot back, "You want the smaller one, you get the smaller one. So where is the problem?"

The trouble you got yourself into

Janie bought a new SIM card and the fist thought that came to her mind was to surprise her husband Jake. So Janie replaced the old SIM with the new one in her cellphone. She went to the bedroom and called Jake who was reading the newspaper in the living room.

"Hi Sweetheart!" she said, calling from the new number.

Jake replied in a hushed tone, "Can I call you back sweety. My wife is in the bedroom!"

Attractive package by Mehta travels

Mehta travels, a travel agency based in India, advertised an attractive package to enhance sales. They offered a free ticket for the spouse on the purchase of one ticket to Europe. Undoubtedly, the scheme was a huge success with men buying the package trip and sales multiplied.

When the scheme ended, Mehta travels sent letters to the wives asking for feedback on the vacation.

All of them replied, "What vacation?"

A rainy night

Anita is invited to her friend's place for dinner. Judy, the hostess, serves her a delicious dinner. Later, when Anita is ready to leave, it starts raining heavily. Judy invites her to stay over for the night and go home when the weather clears th next day. Anita agrees.

Anita settles down to watch TV while Judy goes up into the bedroom to help her kid go to sleep.

When Judy comes down, she finds Anita missing. While she was wondering where Anita had gone, the  doorbell rings. Its Anita at the door. Judy asks her blonde friend where she had been. Anita replies, "I went home to get my nightwear."

Hell's not so bad

Joe Fernandez was involved in a road accident and died. He realized he was in hell when he was approached by an attendant of the devil.

The attendant said, "Why are you looking so depressed?"

Joe Fernandez replied, "I died young. And then I land up in hell. Of course, I am depressed."

The attendant said, "It's not so bad out here. In fact, we have loads of fun. U like booze?"

"Yeah, I do," said Joe Fernandez.

The attendant said, "Tuesdays are booze days. We play rock music and drink beer all day."

Joe Fernandez said, "Sounds good to me."

The attendant asked, "Do you like to smoke?"

Joe Fernandez replied, "I do, yes"

The attendant said, "We get to smoke all we can on Thursdays. The finest cigars are available, we don't care about cancer, we ain't alive anyways."

Joe Fernandez said, "That's awesome!"

The attendant asked, "Do you like to gamble?"

Joe Fernandez replied, "I don't mind."

The attendant said, "Wait till you hear about Fridays. We get to gamble all day. Its smashing!"

Joe Fernandez exclaimed, "I can't believe it!"

The attendant asked, "Do you like to get high on narcot*cs?"

Joe Fernandez said, "Whoa! Man...the works."

The attendant said, "On Sundays, we all get high on weed. All sorts available. Take your pick!"

Joe Fernandez said, "Who would have thought hell is such a rockin' place!"

The attendant asked, "Are u g*y?"

Joe Fernandez replied, "No!"

The attendant said, "I don;t think you are gonna like Mondays."

Mary's birthday

Phil forgot his wife Mary's birthday and she was sure mad as hell.

Mary screamed at him ,"I can't believe this! After doing so much for you for all these years, how could you just forget my b'day?"

Phil replied, "Honey, its not my fault. You never seem to be getting any older. No wonder I forgot."

Mary's anger melted and she hugged Phil.

Phil winked at his refection in the mirror and thought to himself, "Thank God I could come up with this line and the timing was so right! Or else I would have had it today!!!"

Rock-hard bread

 Ronnie asked his friend Bubba, "Why do you have broken teeth?"

Bubba replied, "My wife gave me rock-hard bread."

Ronnie said, "Well, why didn't you just refuse to eat?"

Bubba sighed and replied, "She threw it at me!"

Bus ride

When Tony entered the bus, the only vacant seat he found was between an old lady and a pretty young girl. He took the seat, and was soon nodding off. In no time, he went into a deep slumber. When he woke up with a sudden jerk of the bus, he realized his head was resting on the old lady's lap. He quickly steadied himself and said, "Dear Lord, lead me not into temptation."

Tony dozed off and again and when he woke up this time, he found that his head was resting on the lap of the pretty young girl. Smiling, he said, "Oh Lord, let thy will be done..smyle it off & hv a gr8 day!"

Lost trekker

Stan, a trekking enthusiast, was on one of his trek trips when he realized he was lost. There was fog all around and visibility was poor. He kept wandering for 4 days and almost losing his mind, when the fog
receded, and he noticed a man in the distance. Hopes regained, he ran to the man and cried, "Help!"

The man asked him, "What happened?"

Stan replied, "I am lost! I have been wandering for the past 4 days without food and water."

The man asked him, "Is there a reward for you?"

Stan thought and replied, "I don't think so? Why?"

"Well, if that be the case, you are still lost!" replied the man, and disappeared into the fog.

Game

Sardar Santa Singh was walking through the big estate that his father had left him.

He suddenly noticed a young girl lying naked in the fields.

Santa asked the girl, "Are you game?"

"Yess!", cooed the pretty young thing.

So Sardar Santa Singh shot her.

Too shy, Doctor

When Dorothy went for her annual check-up, the doctor asked her to undress and lie down on the examination table. Her uneasiness evident, Dorothy said to the doctor, "Doctor, I am too shy to undress in front of you."

Dr. Hanks said, "I understand. I will switch off the lights. When you are done undressing, just tell me."

After 2 minutes, Dorothy said to the doctor in the dark, "Doctor Hanks, I am done. Where should I keep my clothes?"

Dr. Hanks replied, "Just keep them over here, on top of mine."

Sandy Hill

Ms. Pitroda, the new Social sciences teacher, had just started teaching, when she noticed Tom walk in late.

She asked, "Why are you late?"

Tom replied. "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

Ms. Pitroda saw another boy called Jack walk in after 10 minutes.

She asked him, "Why so late?"

Jack replied, "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

About 15 minuted later, another boy, Fred walked in.

Ms. Pitroda demanded angrily, "Young man, what is your excuse for coming in so late?"

Fred replied, "I was climbing Sandy Hill."

Ms. Pitroda, now frustrated asked the class, "Will someone tell me where this Sandy Hill is?"

A pretty girl entered the class and said, "I am here mam."

Janie's got a gun

When Janie entered the local store selling sports goods, she was greeted by the owner.

The owner said, "How can I help you miss?"

Janie said, "I want to buy a handgun for my husband."

The owner asked, "Did he give you the specifications?"

Janie replied, "You must be joking. He has no idea that I plan to shoot him!"

Bad stomach

Joe was visiting his relatives in DC. He stayed back for a couple of days. one night, he had a drink too many and had also eaten street food. He was not feeling too well the next morning. His stomach was so upset, he felt sick. He rushed to the bathroom several times but they all turned out to be false alarms. When he felt the urge one more time, he decided it was another false one, and did not budge from the bed. The next thing he knew he had dirtied the bed and it was a pathetic sight.

Not knowing what to do and embarrassed by the thought that his relatives will find out that he has splattered the bed sheet with unmentionables, he quickly collected the bed sheet and threw it out of the window.

The soiled sheet landed on a drunk who was passing by underneath the window. the drunk started swearing and screaming hysterically, punching in the air which left the bed sheet in a messy pile.

A passer-by, intrigued by the incident, stopped to ask what was going on.

The drunk replied, "You won't believe it but I just beat the cr*p out of a ghost!"

Curious Betty

Betty was a curious little girl. She asked her mother one day, "Mom, how was I born?"

Her mother, careful with her words, said, "God created you."

Betty asked, "What about you? Did he create you too?"

Her mother replied, "Yes he did, my child."

Betty, not satisfied yet, asked, "What about Dad, grandad, grandma?"

Her mother replied, "Yes sweety, all of them were created by God."

Betty said, "You must be kidding me Mom. Do you really mean no one has made love in the family in the last 100 years? no wonder we are a crazy family!"


------------------------------------------------------------
Do not copy - http://funnyjokes4me.blogspot.com

Loud drums

Tom: Why can't King Kong play the drums?

Jerry: That's because he is too sensitive.

-----------------------------------------
Do not copy - http://funnyjokes4me.blogspot.com

The Maldives experience

Mona was discussing her solo trip to Maldives. He told her friend Jasmine that she had a good time. She went on to describe how awesome the beaches of Maldives were.

Mona had a twinkle in her eye when she declared she had some good and some bad experiences.

Jasmine could not wait to hear it, so she urged Mona to tell her quickly what the experiences were.

Mona said, "Well..the good news is....I shared the room with two amazingly handsome men!"

Jasmine exclaimed, "Really? What could possibly the bad news?"

Mona replied, "They were dating each other."

Roma and Soma

Roma and Soma were centenarian twin sisters living in an old age home in Kolkata, India. A leading newspaper was doing an article on twin sisters above 100 years of age worldwide. Roma and Soma were contacted for an interview and a photography session.

Roma was hard of hearing, so she was a little dependent on Soma.

After the interview, the photographer told them he would be taking some snaps. 

 

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He said he would take our pictures."

The photographer then said to them, "Please sit down on the couch."
 
Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He asked us to sit down on the couch." So they both sat down on the couch.

The photographer then said to them, "Can you both hold hands please."

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He asked us to hold hands." So they held hands.

The photographer then said to them, "Please don't move, stay still. I have got to focus."

Roma asked Soma, "What did he say?"

Soma replied, "He said he has got to focus."

Roma's eyes lit up and she said, "Do you mean - both of us??"