Funny farm jokes-Giving away animals

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
---

Funny jokes-Holes in umbrella

Two men from Dublin were walking to the annual Dublin Fair when it started raining.
"Patrick, put your umbrella up, it's raining".
"I can't, Mick, it's got holes in it".
"Holes in it? Then why did you bring it with you?"
"I didn't think it would rain."

Practical jokes-Wave of my hand

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Speaker and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before. To make it a little more interesting, Nancy says to the Pope, "Did You know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do.

"That was impressive, the Pope says, "But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your
subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

Nancy seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.

Short funny jokes-To keep an Irishman busy

Q: How do you keep an Irishman busy for hours?
A: Give him a card with "PTO" on both sides.

Really funny Yo Mama jokes

Yo Mama's So Stupid

* Yo Mama's so stupid, I told her to buy a color TV, she came back and said what color.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she failed a survey.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.

Blonde jokes-A blonde's password

During a recent password audit at a large company, it was found that a blond receptionist was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrament o”

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.

Short funny jokes-Three Wise Women

You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don't you?

They would have asked for directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought disposable diapers as gifts!

Realy funny jokes-Wailing

Solly and Moses were also on the Titanic when it went down. They scrambled aboard a lifeboat, and then, out in the middle of the ocean, Moses starts crying and wailing, and making a terrible scene.

"What are you crying for?", asks Solly, "It's wasn't your ship".

MJ jokes-Grocery bag

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Good jokes-What would you like for dinner

The dear husband was engrossed in a football game upset for his loosing team and the sweet voice of the dearest wife was heard.

"What would you like to have for dinner my love, Lamb, Chicken or Beef?"

The husband responded with gratefulness, "Honey, I would like to have chicken for me."

The wife snapped, "You are having tomato soup, I was talking to the Cat."

Funny jokes-You know you are getting older when.....

- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

Really funny stuff-Comments Made In The Year 1955

Comments Made In The Year 1955:

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Hilarious jokes-Who lands first

An Italian, an Irishman, and a Puerto Rican jump off the Empire State Building. Who lands first?

The Italian;
because the Irishman stops to ask directions,
and the Puerto Rican stops to spray paint on the walls.

Funny redneck jokes-You might be a redneck if

You might be a redneck if

1. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
2. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
3. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
4. You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
5. You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
6. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
7. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
8. You have a rag for a gas cap.
9. Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
10. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

Yo Mama jokes-So stupid!!

* Yo Mama's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food."
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
* Yo Mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.

Really funny jokes-Biopsy mix up

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello, Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him......

Clean jokes-Church bulletin

I write the church bulletin each week. Last week on complete accident instead of putting in "Pastor Vill will be giving this weeks exciting messages" I wrote: "This week Pastor Vill will be giving this weeks exciting massages."

Another time I was suppose to write "Forgiveness can send you to hell" and I accidentally wrote: "Forgiveness will send you to hell."

Needless to say my work is checked before the bulletins are printed and passed out now in church.

Hilarious jokes-Almost stepped in

A Polish man walks into his local pub and goes straight up to the barman, who turns away disgusted at the handful of dog poo the Pole is holding.
"Hey, Fred" says the Pole, "Look what I almost stepped in".

Short funny jokes-New camera

Q. Did you hear about the new Japanese camera?
A. It's so fast it can catch a woman with her mouth closed.

Sardar jokes-Left a fortune

Santa : "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
His wife Jasmeet : "Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Really funny jokes-Depressed man

A man lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms.

One day he could not stand it anymore. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on the sidewalk below skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and noticed this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly, useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he now knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could do it with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again. He asked "Why are you so happy anyway?"

He said "I'm NOT happy; I am trying to scratch my ass."

Good jokes-A cow from Alberta

The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.

However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?"

The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?

"The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."

Really funny jokes-Two Irishmen fishing

Two Irishmen are out fishing for the day, and they have a great time; with the fish grabbing the hooks as fast as they can get them into the water. Finally, with the boat full of as many fish as it will hold, they decide it's time to head for shore.
"But listen," says Mick, "why don't we mark the spot?"
"No problem," says Paddy, who dives into the water and paints a big black X on the bottom of the boat.
Mick beams with pleasure, and they're almost back to the dock when his face wrinkles in consternation. "Oh, no!" he cries to Paddy, "what if we don't get the same boat?".

Hilarious jokes-Expedition across Sahara Desert

An Englishman, an American, and an Irishman planned an expedition across the Sahara Desert, and at the appointed time each shows up with the luggage critical to his survival.

Motioning to his umbrella, the Englishman says, "It's going to be hot out there, roaming across the desert, so I've brought something to keep the sun off me".

The American says "What's really needed here is good old American know-how, so I've brought along a portable air-conditioner to keep me cool throughout the day."

They look across at the Irishman, who is carrying nothing but a right front door to a 1968 Holden. "It's going to be a scorcher out there," he explains, "and so when it gets too hot, I want to be able to wind down the car window."

Clean jokes-Answers in the Bible

There was a guy who owned his own business. He sold plastics to many different companies. One day one of his warehouses burnt to the ground. This led to many orders being canceled and a loss of customers. The insurance company was not going to cover the damage. This guy was in real trouble. He could lose everything.

Well, the guy decided to see his minister. He said to the minister, "I need help! My warehouse burnt to the ground, my product is all gone, my customers are leaving, and I am losing everything!"

The minister told him, "You can find all the answers to your problems in the Bible."

The guy asked, "Where should I start?"

The minister answered, "If you do not know where to look, just open the book and place your finger on the page, and start right there. Sooner or later you will find your answers."

Well, A few months later the minister ran into the individual. It was obvious the individual had become very successful. He had a new car, new clothes, several rings and chains.

The guy walks over to the minister and says, "Thank you. The answers I found turned my life around!"

The minister was curious and said, "In what passage did you find your answers?"

The man says, "I did just what you said. I opened the Bible to a spot, looked down, and found my answer staring me right in the face - "Chapter 11."

Really funny jokes-Turpentine

Paddy and Mick, both farmers, met one day at a Kilkenny fair.
"Tell me," said Paddy, "what did you give your mule when he had colic?"
"Turpentine," said Mick.
A few months later they met again.
"What did you say you gave your mule when he had colic?" asked Paddy.
"Turpentine," said Mick.
"Well, I gave my mule turpentine, and he died," said Paddy.
"That's strange," said Dave, "so did mine."

Short funny jokes-Smart ass

What is the definition of a smart ass?

Someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.

Animal jokes-Elephant crossing road

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.

Funny jokes-Recognize

An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport.
"I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years".
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American.
"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time".
"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American.
"Of course he will," said the Irishman. "Sure, an' I haven't been away at all".

Hilarious jokes-Return tickets

Fifteen minutes after the Titanic sank, Israel and Abraham find themselves on the same overturned lifeboat. The water is freezing, sharks are cruising by, and the boat is slowly sinking.

"Oh, well" said Israel, "It could have been worse".

"Worse? How could it be worse?", screamed Abraham.

"Well, we could have bought return tickets!"

Really funny stuff-Joke's on you

Young Patrick is walking down Dublin's main street. Suddenly a man leaps out at him and punches him in the face.

"There you are, Mick, that'll teach you!", The man shouts.

But to his attacker's surprise, Patrick just laughs.

"So Mick, you're laughing; I'll hit you again!"

"Ha ha ha!", laughs Patrick, "the joke's on you. I'm not Mick!"

Good jokes-Scottish on a free trip

McTavish, on a free trip to the pokies, had spent the entire two dollars he had brought along without winning a cent.

Thoroughly disgusted, he stalked off to visit the gents and discovered that he needed 20 cents to use one of the cubicles.

A man standing nearby gave him the necessary coin, but just as McTavish was about to use it he spotted someone leaving, so he grabbed the door before it slammed shut and got in for free.

And so, with a spare 20 cents to spend, he returned to the machines and had a final fling.

And wouldn't you know it? He scored the $10,000 jackpot!

McTavish was ecstatic. "If it hadnae been for yon laddie I'd no ha' won," he exclaimed, "The mon deserves to be rewarded - I'll give him his twenty cents back.

Teacher jokes-Where is your homework?

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.

Really funny jokes-Heavenly slide

Three men, an Australian, a Scotsman, and an Irishman, are crossing the road, when a bus runs them all over, killing them instantly. They appear before Saint Peter, who prepares to let them into Heaven.

But when Saint Peter looks at his clipboard, he gets all embarrassed. Shamefaced, he explains that there's been a mix-up, and that the three shouldn't have been killed today at all. To make up for it, Saint Peter says that they can ride down on the Heavenly slide back to earth, and if they yell out their favourite drink on the way down, then they'll land in a big vat of it, and they can drink to their hearts' content.

The Aussie is first on the slide. On the way down, he shouts out "Aussie beer", and he lands in a large vat of beer, and starts guzzling it down.

The Scotsman is next on the slide. On the way down, he shouts out "Scotch whiskey", and he lands in a large vat of whiskey, and starts to drink as much as he possibly can.

Last one to go is the Irishman. On the way down, he's having such a fun ride on the slide, that he shouts out "Wheeeeee".

Hilarious jokes-Berserk woman

An Irishman and a Jew were in a pub watching TV late one night when the eleven o'clock news came on. The first sensational story was of a berserk woman poised on a window ledge seven storeys up.
"I'll bet you a hundred dollars she won't jump," said the Irishman to the Jew.
"You got a deal," said the Jew, sticking his hand out a few moments later when the woman plunged to a gory death. The Irishman sadly forked over the money and ordered another drink, only to look up in astonishment as the other fellow tugged on his sleeve and tried to hand the hundred dollars back.
"It's all yours," the Irishman protested. "You won the bet fair and square."
"Nah," said the Jew, "I saw it all happen on the six o'clock news."
"I saw it happen on the six o'clock news, too," said the Irishman, "but I never thought she'd do it again at eleven."

Good jokes-Rigorous entrance exam

A young Irishman wanted to become a cop, and went for the rigorous entrance exam; the last question of which was "Who killed Christ?"

The would-be cop went home excitedly, and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I think they're putting me on a murder case already!"

Really funny jokes-Cock fight

How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.

How can you tell if a Pole is present?
He bets money on the duck.

How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins.

Yo mama jokes-Aircraft carrier

I know yo mama from personal experience. She's just like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.

Teacher jokes-Vocab lesson

The English teacher in a school in Spanish Harlem decided it was time for the weekly vocabulary lesson.

"What's the difference between select and choose... Ramone?" she asked.

"Select is when you pick something," he answered, "and choose are what Puerto Ricans wear on their feet."

Short funny jokes-Play marbles

Mummy, mummy can I play marbles now?
Shut up son, you can't use grandpa's glass eye today!

Funny jokes-Irishman in Post office

An Irishman goes to his local post office with a parcel for his mother in Dublin.

"This parcel is too heavy" the post office clerk tells him, "you'll need to put some more stamps on it".

Says the Irishman in amazement, "And, if I put some more stamps on it, the parcel will get lighter?"

Good jokes-Six day war

Just after the Six Day War between Israel and Egypt, a TV reporter had an interview with the Israeli general, Moshe Dayan.

Reporter: "Tell me, general, how did the Israelis finish the war in only six days?"

"Well, we only had the tanks on a week's approval!"

Really funny jokes-Miss the wife

Two cannibals are having dinner together.

The guest says to his host, "Your wife sure makes a great meal."

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss her" his friend replies.

Funny hilarious jokes-Athiest in the Ocean

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat.

As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He's scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"

Aghast with confusion and knowing he can't lie the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"

The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.

As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive..."

Clean jokes-The hearing

A healing Pastor came to a church. There was a long line to see him. It was a little boy's turn in line and he said it was his hearing.

So, the healing Pastor grabbed his ears and said a prayer.

The Pastor let go and asked, "hows your hearing now''.

"I don't know.. it's not till Friday," replied the boy.

Funny jokes-Best bar pick up line

Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky:

"Hey, you sure don't sweat much for a fat woman."

Really good stuff-10 Words that don't exist but should

10 Words That Don't Exist But Should ......

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Animal jokes-Why do Reindeer have red noses

Q. Why do reindeer have red noses?

A. They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen with a red nose (the sleigh doesn't have an airbag, either).

Doctor jokes-Good & bad news

The doctor tells his patient: "Dianne, I have some good news and some bad news."

Dianne asks for the good news first.

"Well, the test results are in, and the good news is that you aren't suffering from Pre-menstrual Syndrome, as you'd feared."

"And the bad news?" Dianne asks.

To which the Doc replies: "I'm afraid there's no cure for being a natural sly."

Really funny jokes-Weight machine

A nun was sitting at the airport waiting for her flight to Chicago. She looked over & saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune.

Deciding to give it a try, she went to the machine, stepped on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card saying, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 Lbs and you're going to Chicago".

The nun sat back down & told herself the machine probably gives the same reading to Everyone. The more she thought about it, the more curious she was, so she decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put another nickel in. Out came a card, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you're going to play a fiddle.The nun said to herself, I know this is wrong. I've never played a musical instrument In my life. She went back to her seat. Then, a cowboy came and sat down, putting his fiddle on the seat between them.

Without thinking, she opened the case, took out the fiddle and started playing. Surprised at what she'd done, she looked at the machine and decided to try again.

She went back and put in another nickel. The card said "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago & you're going to break wind."

Now, she knew the machine was wrong. She'd never broken wind in public in her life. But getting off the scale, she slipped and straining to keep from falling, she broke wind.

Stunned, she sat down and looked at the machine, thinking I have to try this again. She went back to the machine and dropped in another nickel.

Another Card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you've fiddled & farted around & missed your flight to Chicago.