Saturday, June 2, 2012

Short funny jokes-Higher powers

Santa : Do you know, Atheists do not solve exponential equations.

Banta: Really? Why is that?

Santa: That's because they don't have faith in higher powers.

Really funny jokes- Classified classics

A compilation of hilarious classified classics!!!

** A superb and economical restaurant. Fine food, expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

** No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

** Sale! Sale! An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

** We don't tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

** Great chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

** Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

** Dinner Special - Turkey $2.75; Chicken or Beef $2.50; Children $2.00.

** Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Friday, June 1, 2012

One line jokes-Amnesia

I liked the sound of the word "Amnesia", and then I could not remember it.

Hilarious jokes-Mexican bandit

Agusto, a Mexican bandit robbed a bank. As he was trying to escape with the booty, the sheriff and his deputy chased him and tracked him down in the woods.

Agusto was handcuffed, and the sheriff, who didn't know Spanish, asked him where he had hidden the loot.

"No se nada," he replied.

The sheriff put a gun to Agusto's head, turned to his deputy who could speak Spanish as well as English, and said, "Tell him that if he doesn't disclose where the money is right now, I'll blow his head to smithereens."

On receiving the translation in Spanish, Agusto got excited and started talking. "Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadradas hasta ese gran arbol. Debajo del arbol, alli esta el dinero."

The sheriff asked the deputy, "What's he saying?"

The deputy replied, "He says he wants to die like a man."

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Really funny jokes-Viola player

Joseph, the viola player was returning from a concert and decided to stop at a bar to have some beer. Halfway through his drink, he remembered he had left his viola on the passenger's seat of the car.

He ran outside, but it already late - someone had broken the window and put three more violas on the rear seat!!!