Really funny jokes-Statistically speaking

Pete, a statistics student, while driving his car, had a habit of accelerating hard before arriving at any traffic junction, zoom past it, then slow down again once he had passed it.

One day, he gave a lift to an acquaintance, who was panic-stricken by Pete's manner of driving, and asked him what made him hurry over the junctions.

Pete replied, "If you look at it statistically, you are far more prone to have an accident at a junction, so I ensure that I spend the least time there."

Hilarious jokes-Razorback hogs

President Obama was back in Washington DC after a tour and as he got down from the helicopter in front of the White House, his staff noticed he was carrying 2 baby piglets, one under each arm.

The alert security guard salutes and says, "Nice pigs, Sir."

Obama replies, "You are mistaking them for pigs. These are genuine Razorback hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the other for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."

The security guard salutes, and comments: "Brilliant trade, sir."

Teacher jokes-Classroom

A geography teacher entered the class and the children greeted in chorus: “Good morning, sir.”

The Teacher greeted them back saying, “Good morning, students. Now where were we yesterday?”

A back-bencher promptly answered, “Right here in this classroom, sir.”

Hilarious jokes-Lab experiment

On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?

The answer is simple:

If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.

If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.

If it doesn't work, then you know it's Physics.

Really funny jokes-Wife or mistress?

There were three friends - a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.

The lawyer says, "It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues."

The doctor remarks: "It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life."

The manager differs by saying: "I don't agree with both of you. I think it's best to have both. So when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife - you can go to the office and finish some work."