Really funny jokes-Outrageous flattering

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

"Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."

"You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

Hilarious jokes-Lawyer and boxing referee

What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Really funny jokes-Poker pro

A poker pro sees an old friend of his at the Rio during the World Series of Poker and pulls him aside.

"Look, man," he says, "I really hate to ask this but you've known me for years and you know I wouldn't ask unless I'm desperate. I've been running terrible, I can't feed my wife and kids right now, and we're about to get kicked out of our house. Can I borrow $1,000 just to keep our heads above water until I figure something out?"

"Of course," his friend says, "but with just one condition. You have to swear to me that you won't play poker with it, and that it'll go towards food for your family."

The poker pro breaks out into a huge grin. "I swear. I can even prove it to you, as here's my $10,000 entry to the Main Event that I just bought in for, so I'll definitely be too busy the next few days to even think about playing poker with the $1,000!"

One line jokes-Diplomat

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hilarious jokes-Red faced judge

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true.

"I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.

The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."