Kissing the secretary

One fine morning Dean came early into the office and caught his subordinate,Martin kissing his secretary.

Angered, Dean screamed: “Martin, do I pay you good salary for doing this?”

Martin: “No sir, I am doing this for free.”

Funny jokes-Lies of a Graduate student

Top 10 Lies Told By A Graduate Student

1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

2. My job prospects look really good.

3. The department is giving me so much support.

4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.

5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

7. I would never date an undergraduate.

8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article.

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

Teacher jokes-Zero

Mark: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.


Teacher: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

Really funny jokes-Lost everything

Two girls were sitting in a coffee shop.

First: “My boyfriend, poor soul……lost everything in business.”

Second: “Good lord, you must be worried.”

First: “Oh yes, I keep worrying....after my marriage who is he going to confide in and share his sorrows with!"

Hilarious jokes-Story line

Jany was reading a story from a book to her daughter. The daughter interrupted: “Mom, why does every story start with ‘Once upon a time’? Isn’t there any other line?”

Mom: “Sure there is. There's another line which begins like ‘Dear, there is a meeting in the office and I will be late.....’”

Funny jokes-Abstract noun

The English teacher Mrs. Brown was teaching nouns on a Wednesday morning. She said to her class, "An abstract noun is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Who can give give me an example of one?"

"I can," said Sam, a teenager. "My father's new car."

Really funny jokes-General director

Mark met his former class-mate, Bruce and they had a good talk about their school days.

The topic diverted to their current occupations.

“I am a general director of my own company,” boasted Bruce.

“But I came to know from common friends that you were just a director,” said Mark.

“It was earlier when I was alone, but now I hired a guy, and there are two people in the company - he is the director, and I am the general director.”

Hilarious jokes-Market broker

I'm thinking of leaving my husband, complained Amy, my yoga batch mate and the wife of a stock market broker. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."

Really funny jokes-Biggest feet

Val, a Norwegian, had a son, Val Junior who was studying in the fourth standard. One day Val Junior returned from school and asked his father: “I have the biggest feet in the fourth grade, is it because I am a Norwegian?”

Val Senior: “No. It’s because you are eighteen.”

One line jokes-When baking

Include your children when baking your cookies.

Hilarious book titles

Hilarious Book Titles

1) Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself (A book for woodworkers)

2) Knitting with Dog Hair

3) Wood Carving with a Chain Saw

4) Drying Flowers With A Microwave

5) Nuclear War: What's In It For You?

6) How Green were the Nazis?

7) Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them

8) How to Avoid Huge Ships

9) Bomb Proof Your House

10)Waterproofing Your Child

Short funny jokes-Dizzy

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.

As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Really funny jokes-Pull Over

Sara was driving home from work when she noticed a Policeman following her.

"Pull over!" the cop announced.

Sara pulled over and rolled down the window as the officer approached her.

"You were exceeding the speed limit, Ma'am," the police officer said. "You are also not wearing your seat belt. I'm going to have to write you a ticket." He then wrote her $25.00 ticket.

Back home, Sara was wondering how she was going to explain this to her husband who would no doubt notice the fee in their checkbook. Suddenly she had a bright idea.

Opening the checkbook register, she made the following entry: One Pullover, $25.00.

Cancer Research

Peter was walking down 35th Street in New York city when he was approached by a woman with a clipboard.

"Good morning, sir," she said. Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"

"Just a few minutes?" Peter asked.

"Just a few minutes," the woman replied.

"Okay," Peter said, "But we're not going to get much done."