Hilarious book titles

Hilarious Book Titles

1) Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself (A book for woodworkers)

2) Knitting with Dog Hair

3) Wood Carving with a Chain Saw

4) Drying Flowers With A Microwave

5) Nuclear War: What's In It For You?

6) How Green were the Nazis?

7) Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them

8) How to Avoid Huge Ships

9) Bomb Proof Your House

10)Waterproofing Your Child

Short funny jokes-Dizzy

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.

As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Really funny jokes-Pull Over

Sara was driving home from work when she noticed a Policeman following her.

"Pull over!" the cop announced.

Sara pulled over and rolled down the window as the officer approached her.

"You were exceeding the speed limit, Ma'am," the police officer said. "You are also not wearing your seat belt. I'm going to have to write you a ticket." He then wrote her $25.00 ticket.

Back home, Sara was wondering how she was going to explain this to her husband who would no doubt notice the fee in their checkbook. Suddenly she had a bright idea.

Opening the checkbook register, she made the following entry: One Pullover, $25.00.

Cancer Research

Peter was walking down 35th Street in New York city when he was approached by a woman with a clipboard.

"Good morning, sir," she said. Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"

"Just a few minutes?" Peter asked.

"Just a few minutes," the woman replied.

"Okay," Peter said, "But we're not going to get much done."

How old?

An employer was taking interview of a prospective candidate.

Employer: “Have you ever worked anywhere else?”

Candidate: “Yes, sir.”

Employer: “For how long?”

Candidate: “Twenty years.”

Employer: “And how old are you?”

Candidate: “Twenty five years, sir.”

Employer: “How is it possible that you are all of twenty five and you have worked for twenty years?”

Candidate: “I was taking overtime into consideration, sir.”

Hilarious jokes-Fix the mailbox

Rosy said to her husband, "Tim, could you please fix the mailbox for me?"

Tim asked, "What happened to the mailbox?"

Rosy replied, "The post is beginning to rot. It needs a new post, but save the box."

Tim said, "All right, let me see what I can do."

When Tim walked to the end of the driveway, he realized that the post to the mailbox was indeed in bad shape. To free the box from the post, he pulled out all the nails except for one that had rust on it and just wouldn't come out. He wrapped his arms around the box in a bear hug and began trying to yank it off.

Just then a passerby, who noticed the entire episode, commented, "I tried that but it doesn't work. The bills just keep on coming!"

Really funny jokes-Children of Movie stars

The children of two movie actresses were talking.

Tina: “Somebody told me you have a new father, how is he?”

Rita: “Really nice. Come to my place, you can meet him. I am sure you will like him.”

Tina: “I have already met him. Last year, he was my father too.”

Really funny jokes-Women and gossip

Rita noticed that her friend, Julie, who was standing at a distance, was having a conversation with another friend. Judging by their gestures, Rita suspected that the conversation involved a secret.

When the other woman left, Rita walked up to Julie ans asked "What did she tell you?"

"Now you know I never repeat gossip," said Julie.

"All right," Rita sighed.

Immediately, Julie whispered, "So listen carefully the first time!"

Short funny jokes-Phone number

Guess what happened when I requested an economist to give me his phone number - i got an estimate.

Clean jokes-English Channel

Mrs. Kapoor, the English teacher asked a student in class, "Rahul, where is the English Channel?"

Rahul replied, "No idea Madam, our television doesn't pick it up."

Discourage business

When Peter found that his printer was giving faded prints, he took it to a local repair store dealing in computers and printers. A friendly guy at the counter told Peter that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. The counter guy further said that the store charged $40 for such services, and therefore, it would be a better idea for Peter to read the printer's manual and try doing the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his openness, Peter asked, "Is your boss aware that you discourage business?"

"Actually it's my boss's idea," the guy at the counter replied sheepishly. "We make a lot more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things on their own first."

Short funny jokes-Zebra crossing

A policeman at a traffic junction noticed a jay walker and decided to catch him.

The policeman said, "Can you explain why you are trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 25 meters away?"

'Well,' replied the jay walker, "I hope it's having better luck than me."

Warning Signs that you are spending too much time Online

Warning Signs that you are spending to much time Online 

# Tech Support calls "YOU" for queries.

#. When an office colleague shares a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.

# You discover yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.


# You like to have your lunch in front of the computer.

# Your children are used to eating cereal in all their meals.

# When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "screaming" at you.

# When at work, your senior frequently reminds you that the word "i" should be capitalized.

# You barely notice anymore when someone has a typo.

# You discontinue talking in full sentences.

# You fail to type with proper capitalization or punctuation.

# You have formed the habit of double clicking your TV remote.

# You dream in codes.

# You have an identity crisis when you learn of someone using a screen name close to your own.

# You are confused as to who you are, having changed your screen names so many times.

# You say "Scroll up" when a friend asks, "What did you say?"

One line jokes-Contortionist

The show host declared to the packed audience that he would be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who said he could no longer make ends meet.