Funny conversation with Technical support

Customer: I get an "Access Denied" message every time I log in.

Tech Support: Did you type the Username and password correctly?

Customer: Yes I did.

Tech Support: Did you type in Capital letters?

Customer: Yes I did.

Tech Support: That's the problem. Now let's try once more, but use lower case letters.

Customer: But my keyboard has only capital letters. What should I do?

Kids jokes-Politics

An English teacher said in class, "Students, can anyone of you give me a sentence with politics in it."

Suzie raised her hand and answered, "My Cat Poly ate a clock, and now, polytics."

Hilarious jokes-An embarrassing moment

There was a dinner party at the Smith residence. While all the guests were were involved in animated conversation, Mr. and Mrs. Smith's two little children, Billy and Ana, entered the dinning room stark naked and walked slowly around the table.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued with their conversations as if nothing strange was happening.

After making a complete round of the room, the two kids left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, when little Billy said to little Ana, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”

Bicycle busting

Little Bobby always wanted to own a Hercules bicycle, so when his dad bought him one, Bobby was overjoyed. He spent most of his summer vacations riding his brand new bike, ringing the bicycle's bell and waving at all the jealous kids in the neighborhood. One day, some bullies in the locality stopped him, then drew a circle in the dirt road and told him, "Stay inside this circle. If you step out, you will get the thrashing of your life."

Then they picked up some iron rods and started hitting his new Hercules bicycle with the rods. When they were finished busting the bicycle, they looked back at Little Bobby and saw him smiling. They hit the bicycle some more, and he was still smiling. They walked up to him and asked, "Why the grin on your face? Don't you realize we smashed your new bike!"

Bobby said, "I know, but you never noticed I stepped out of the circle 12 times."

Funny jokes-A pill a day

Paul had been to the doctor's and when he returned home, his wife Rita noticed he looked depressed.

Rita asked, "Hey, what's the problem? What did the Doctor say?"

Paul answered, "Dr. Mathews told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life."

Rita commented, "That's not a big deal. Lots of people take medicines every day of their lives."

Paul said in an irritated tone, "I know, I know....but he only gave me five pills!"

A potato's nationality

Two Indian potatoes were sitting on the chopping table of a fast food joint.

One potato said to the other, "I’m about to change my nationality."

"How will you do that?" the other potato asked.

The first potato replied, "By becoming French fries!"

Kids jokes-Father's income

The Mathematics teacher, Mrs. Simpson, had a question for Little Bernie. She asked, "Tell me Bernie, if your Father's income was $ 100 and he gave half of it to your mother, what would she get?"

Little Bernie was quick to answer, "A heart attack!"

One line jokes-Economist

An economist is a person who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel guilty about it.

Morning news at Training camp

In an army training camp, the drill sergeant made his morning announcement to the fresh recruits: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news to share with you. First, the good news- Private Brian will be setting the pace on our morning run.”

Hearing this, the platoon cheered, as Private Brian was overweight and very slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Brian will be driving a truck."

Hilarious jokes-Choice of Wine

Dennis is a rich playboy who often dates beautiful women. At a party, he meets a good looking brunette and soon they are lost in conversation. He takes her to his majestic bungalow and he soon finds out that she hails from a good family, is well groomed and is quite intelligent.

In order to impress her, Dennis shows off his collection of expensive paintings and sculptures, and offers her a glass of wine.

He asked whether she preferred Red or White wine and she answered,
"Oh, White wine by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a n amazing sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the dazzling liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world. Red wine, on the other hand, makes me fart."

Short joke-Banana

Little Johnny: Tell me what made the banana go to the doctor?

Little Bobby: Did it have fever?

Little Johnny: No, it went cos it wasn’t peeling well!

Keep it simple

Three cobblers arrived in a town to try their luck and opened shop in the same lane.

John, the first cobbler, put a notice outside his door, “The best cobbler in the city”.

Not to be outdone, the second cobbler, Danny, hung a bigger notice that said,“The best cobbler in the world.”

The third cobbler, Michael, was wondering what to do and how to beat the best cobbler in the city and the best cobbler in the world.

An idea struck him. The next morning, he found quite a few customers waiting when he opened his shop. The notice on his door simply said, “The best cobbler in the lane.”

Sardar jokes-Buried at Sea

Well, there was this Sardar who wanted to be buried at sea after he died.

Guess what, four other Sardars drowned digging his grave.

Doctor jokes-Bird hunting

Three buddies, a General Practitioner, a physician and a Surgeon go shooting in the weekend. They see a flying bird and the General Practitioner says, "Looks like a Crane Hawk to me, but I am not sure."

The Physician says, "Well, it's wingspan seems to be that of a Crane Hawk, I am almost certain it is a Crane Hawk. But I couldn't exclude it being a Norther Goshawk.."

The Surgeon shoots the bird and waits for it to drop to the ground.

Holding the bird up, the Surgeon comments, "It was a Crane Hawk!"