Short funny jokes-A ring

A girl asked her boyfriend: 'Darling, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?'

The boy replied, "Sure, what's your phone number?'

Really funny jokes-Oysters

A woman went to see a Doctor, complaining of an upset stomach.

The Doctor asked "What did you have for dinner last night?"

"Oysters," she replied.

"Were the oysters fresh?" asked the doctor.

"How should I know?" said the lady.

"Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you took off the shells?"

"Oh my god," gasped the lady. "Are you supposed to take off the shells?"

Good jokes-Cover them too

Upon receiving several complaints of spellings, grammar and such other mistakes from readers in one newspaper, the editor put the following article in his editor’s note:

“We are the only newspaper which is aware that other than subjects like politics, sports, celebrity gossip, business news etc, some people are particularly fond of finding faults (like puzzles) in news prints. We try and cover them too. "

Funny jokes-Previous forest officer

A forest officer was transferred to a remote area deep inside the jungle where the population was still uncivilized. Further, it was rumored that once upon a time, the people of this tribe were cannibals.

One day the officer asked a small child: “Dear boy, how was our previous forest officer?”

The child replied: “Very tasty, sir.”

Really funny jokes-Do angels fly?

Child: “Mom, do angels fly?”

Mom: “Yes, they do.”

Child: “Then why doesn’t our maid fly?”

Mom: “But she is not an angel.”

Child: “Yes, she is. Dad calls her angel.”

Mom: “Does he? All right, you will see her fly tomorrow.”

One line jokes-Focus on others

We're not truly happy until we focus on others.

Adult jokes-Raising the mast

At the yacth club, a guy leered at a girl. "Hey, baby, would you help me 'raise my mast'?"

"No thanks," she said sweetly. "I heard about you from your ex and she included a 'small craft' warning."

Short funny jokes-Extra effort

I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you..... If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?

Really funny jokes-The sensational prediction

A very learned and able astrologer was not having any success in his profession. He decided to make a really sensational and dynamic prediction to draw people’s attention and set about the task of various astrological calculations when he made a remarkable discovery. He once again confirmed his findings and made an announcement: “In ten months from now the entire universe will go dark.”

Exactly ten months later the astrologer lost his eyesight.

Good jokes-Make a guess

George was enjoying his drink at the bar, when an ugly woman takes a seat next to him. She had a squirrel sitting on her shoulder.

The woman says to George: "If you can guess what kind of animal I have on my shoulder, I am willing to sleep with you.

George says: "It must be a crocodile?"

The woman says: "Close enough"

Celebrity jokes-Internet address

Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?

A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

Really funny jokes-Lost in snow

Gina got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it".

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

Hilarious jokes-First time at the restaurant

I was nervous the night my husband and I took our three young sons to a restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. She poured a small amount for me to taste, at that moment, our six-year-old piped up, "Mum drinks a lot more than that."

Clean jokes-Good support

Mohan had a bag containing purchases when he boarded a crowded bus. As the bus moved, Mohan supported himself carrying the bag in one hand and holding a handle bar in with another. When the conductor asked him money for the ticket, Mohan pleaded with him to hold the bag so that he can take out his wallet. The Conductor flatly refused arguing he was not supposed to carry passenger’s baggage.

Mohan said:”That’s OK, I understand. But you can surely hold the handle for me?”