Mother-in-law's dentures

Reena, who hailed from a small town in Punjab, moved to New Delhi to live with her daughter and son-in-law. Since she was not keeping well lately, her daughter suggested she move into their home in the city. She brought along most of her treasured possessions which included a small box with five broken teeth from her dentures.

Once settled in the new environment, she asked her son-in-law, Dev where she could get her dentures mended.

Dev offered, "Give them to me and I'll take them to a dentist."

Reena gave her little box containing the teeth to Dev who took them to a dental lab.

He asked the technician how long it would take to mend the dentures, to which the technician replied, "About an hour."

Dev tells him, "I'll do some shopping and collect the dentures on my way back."

When Dev returns to the lab, the technician hands him a plastic bag and his mother-in-law's little box. He says, "I'm sorry I could only fit five of the teeth to the denture."

"Oh!" exclaims Dev,"and what happened to the sixth one?"

"It's here in the box," answers the technician, showing it to Dev. "Fitting the teeth is easy but it's impossible to fit this peanut."

Chemical formula for Ice

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for Water?

Little Johnny: It's H2O

Teacher: Good! Can you tell me the chemical formula for ice?

Little Johnny: It's H2O cubed.

Funny jokes-Good morning!

How to identify students when the professor walks into the class and says good morning.

* If the students say good morning back, they are Freshmen.
* If the students put their newspapers down and open their books, they are Sophomores.
* If they look up so they can see the professor over the tops of the newspapers, they are Juniors.
* If they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, they are Seniors.
* If they write it down, they are Graduate students.

Short funny jokes-Doctor in court

A Lawyer was addressing a doctor in court.

Lawyer: Dr. Kirby, did you say the victim was stabbed in the jungle?

Doctor Kirby: No, I said he was stabbed in the lumbar region.

Funny jokes-Ship going down!

A deluxe cruise liner was sinking. The captain had to persuade the passengers of every country very tactfully to jump into the sea.

He told the American, "You'll be a Hero if you jump into the sea."
He told the English, "a gentleman would certainly jump into the sea."
He told the German, "It's a rule to jump into the sea in such conditions."
He told the Italian, "Women will admire you if you jump into the sea."
He told the French, "Do not jump into the sea."
He told the Japanese, "Look, every passenger is jumping into the sea."

Teacher jokes-Sleeping student

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"

The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

Short funny jokes-Room service

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"

"Please wait, someone else is using it."

Clean jokes-Long distance

Laurel: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?

Hardy: To take a nap?

Laurel: No, to make a long-distance caw.

Really funny jokes-Political corruption trial

At the peak of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he thundered, "that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Short funny jokes-Side effects

Jill asks the pharmacist: "Why does my prescribed medication have 30 side effects?"

The Pharmacist replies: "well, that's all we've documented so far."

Clean jokes-Within

The Dalai Lama goes to a vendor selling hamburgers and says, "I want one with everything."

The vendor gives him one and says, "Four bucks."

The Dalai Lama hands him a $5 bill, and waits for the vendor to give him the change but the vendor seems to be ignoring him.

The Dalai Lama finally asks, "Where's my change?"

The burger vendor replies, "Change only comes from within."

Funny jokes-Inebriated judge

An inebriated judge returned to court after a long lunch. In the first case, a man is charged with drunk driving who pleaded not guilty. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.

The judge said, "In that case, you are sentenced to 45 days."

Really funny jokes-Picasso's sketch

Spanish painter Pablo Picasso encountered a thief at work in his mansion. The intruder got away, and when the police was called, Picasso offered to do a rough sketch of what the thief looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a nun, a parliament minister, a refrigerator, and the Eiffel tower.

Just what you wanted to hear

A well-endowed adolescent girl has severe cold and goes to see a doctor for examination.

The doctor who was standing behind the girl, leaned over her shoulder with a stethoscope to his ears and said, "Big breaths".

The young girl, hesitated for a moment, and then replied, "I know, and to think I'm only 13!"