Good jokes-In the ditch

98% of Americans say "OH S$!&" before going in the ditch on a slippery road.

The other 2% are from Buffalo or Rochester, NY and they say, "Hold my beer and WATCH THIS!"

Economy jokes-Harvest crunch

The Allied Irish Bank has issued a credit warning about Kellogg's, they are worried about the Harvest Crunch.

Funny jokes-Blue elephants

Alonzo visits Doctor Pedro.

Alonzo: "Doctor, doctor, I see blue elephants everywhere."

Pedro: "Have you seen a psychologist yet?"

Alonzo: "No, just blue elephants."

Hilarious jokes-Two bankers

Two bankers are in a bank when armed robbers burst in.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the bankers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their jewelry, wallets and watches.

While this is going on banker number one puts something in banker number two's hand. Without looking down, banker number two whispers, 'What is this?' to which banker number one replies, 'It's that $50 I owe you.'

Really funny jokes-In case of emergency

A Spanish guy enters a hospital to have a minor operation.

A nurse begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc.

"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"

"You mean if I become very sick?"

"Well . . . yes."

"If that happens, call a doctor!"

One line jokes-Slow down

Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.

Funny jokes-Running away with Neighbor

Daughter : I am in love with the neighbor, so I am running away with him.

Dad: Thanks , you have saved my money & time.

Daughter: Dad, I am reading the letter left by Mom.

Birthday jokes-Maple tree

Did you hear about the maple tree’s birthday?

It was a sappy one!

Really funny jokes-More American humor

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker -- WOO-EEE!!!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%## Motto? I Got Yer ##$%## Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right to An Attorney...

North Carolina: Tobacco IS A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep, syrup!

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men...and the sheep are scared!

Clean jokes-What brought you here?

A Spanish patient goes to an English doctor.

Doctor: "What is it that's brought you here?"

Patient: "An ambulance. Why?"

Really funny American jokes

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense Against The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies,& Very Little Else

Short funny jokes-Holiday in England

How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned!

Funny American jokes

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

One line jokes-Crowded Elevator

Confucius says-
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.