Funny Jokes - Momento

A friend asked a lady: "I suppose you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?"

"Yes, a strand of my husband's hair."

"But your husband's still alive!"

"Yes, but his hair's gone."

Santa Banta sardar jokes-Fax

Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.

Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

Really funny jokes-Dying preacher

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his doctor and his lawyer to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.

As they entered the room the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit, one on each side of his bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the doctor and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them.

They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the doctor said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?

The old preacher mustered up his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves..and that's how I want to go."

Short funny jokes-In flight

Ever wonder why they never show the film ALIVE in-flight?
It's not because of the film's content, it's because the people in the film are eating better than the people on board.

Really funny jokes-Man and Woman

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion
of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

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Element Name: MAN
Symbol: BY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to finda pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with it. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kid (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Funny teacher student joke - Maths

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

Short funny jokes - surrender

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when not SURE, is WISE.

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

Blonde jokes-In front of ther mirror

Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?
A: He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

Aboriginal jokes-With a gun

Q: What do you call an Abo with a gun?
A: Sir.

Short funny jokes - Moscow the capital of China

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"

The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"

Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

Really funny jokes-Christmas shopping

It was nearly Christmas and Judge Judy was in a happy mood. She asked the defendant, "What are you being prosecuted for?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping too early," replied the defendant.

"That's not a crime," replied Judge Judy.

"How early were you doing you Christmas shopping?"

"Before the store opened," replied the defendant!!

Funny Soldier jokes - Wife

First Soldier: "What made U go into the army?"

Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?"

First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace."

Short funny jokes - Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage

Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"

It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

Hilarious short jokes-King Soloman's temple

Q: Where is King Soloman's temple?

A: On the side of his head!