Funny Judge Jokes - Shooting

Judge: why did u shoot your wife, instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar: Your honor, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

College professor jokes - Driving

Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed.

A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous.

The driver pointed out the sign that read “30.” He explained that he was going 30 mph because of the sign.

The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 30.

Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant.

As the policeman turn to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor …looking scared to death!

He asked the driver, “What’s wrong with them?”

The driver replied, “We just turned off Highway 105.”

Positive jokes - Positive Attitude

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE :

1. Open a new file in your PC .

2. Name it " Boss "

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

Latest Sardar jokes - Interview

INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?

Sardar : Simple, stop imagining.

Old man jokes - Hearing problem

An old man had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The old man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Short sardar jokes - Cholesterol

Sardar starts shouting in a store......

where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this

Sardar: it is written CHOLESTEROL FREE.

Kids jokes-Prayers before eating

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Short humorous jokes - Reading email

A South American scientist from Argentina ,

after a lengthy study, has discovered that

people with very low intelligence read their

Emails with their hand on the mouse.

..
..
..

..

..
..

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late buddy

One liner jokes - Man

You can't change a man unless he is in diapers.

Short Doctor jokes - Wish

The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said,

"I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?".

"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".

Lawyer Jokes - Children

LAWYER : She had three children, right?

WITNESS : Yes.

LAWYER : How many were boys?

WITNESS : None.

Lawyer : Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

Short Women Jokes - Gas

Why do women pass less gas than men?

Because women won't be quiet long enough to build up pressure!

Blonde jokes-Baseball

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn’t wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?
A: He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

Really funny jokes-Never make a woman angry

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.

She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!