Short funny jokes-First step

One guy to another, "Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced."
"Did you see a lawyer?"
"No, I got married."

Really funny jokes-Danny

The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny.
Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it.
The children took the news of Danny's imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, "He's been around here a long time. We'll miss him."
"Yes," Mom replied, "But he's too much work for one person, and since I'm that one person, I say he goes."
Another child offered, "Well, maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy, we could keep him."
But Mom was firm. "It's time to take Danny to his new home now," she insisted. "Go and get his cage."
With one voice and in tearful outrage the children screamed, "Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"

Clean jokes-Quick fix

An auto mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners. He took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.
Back at the shop, he returned the car to the service manager with this note:
"Removed bowling ball from trunk."

Doctor jokes-Emergency Call

“Hurry!” the doctor commanded his teenage daughter, “Put my stethoscope and medicine box in my car. That was an emergency call from someone who says he will die if I do not turn up immediately.”
“Papa, that call was not for you but for me,” replied the girl saucily.

Really funny jokes-Something wrong!

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations, ' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...'
Sum Ting Wong

Kids jokes-Patience

Out Christmas shopping, my friend Darin noticed a mother with three little girls and a baby. The woman's patience was wearing thin as all the girls called "Mama" while she tried to shop. Finally, Darin heard her say, "I don't want to hear the word MAMA for at least five minutes."
A few seconds went by, then one girl tugged on her mom's skirt and said, "Excuse me, miss."

Short funny jokes-Malady

An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

Clean jokes-Wrong bus

A very drunken man gets on a city bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you - You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Good heavens, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Short funny jokes-Milk problem

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
An udder failure

Flasing red light

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Really funny jokes-Satan

A few minutes before the church services started. the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.

Short funny jokes-Puns

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down; I'll fit you in... You'll just have to be a little patient."

Really funny jokes-Blood Race

The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well.
As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel. Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."

blog directory

Sardar jokes-On the roof

Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.