Humor jokes-Cannibal jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?
He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like!

What is a cannibal's favourite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.

Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
Eatin' Allen's.

What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.

What is a cannibal's favourite game?
Swallow the leader.

Really funny joke - Three Engineers

There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

Short sardar jokes - santa banta

Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !

• Q: How do you recognize a Santa's son in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

• Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?
Banta: Me too, after you leave.

• Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one."
Wife: I'll bet it's that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.

• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

• The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?
No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it.

Blonde Jokes - Driving test

A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a

little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb.

"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks.

The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner. She asks, "Now what?"

Really funny joke - Birth registration

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The man behind the counter asks the name he wants

to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro".

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."

short funny jokes - cheese

One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it.

"Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese."

"That's okay," she said. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate."

Really funny joke - Dressed Chicken

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.

He says, "What on earth is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."

"Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?"

The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."

Short funny jokes - The foreman

One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened.

"You know what a foreman is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches the other men work?"

"What's that got to do with it?" he asked.

"Well, he just got jealous of me," Uncle Joe explained. "Everyone thought I was the foreman."

Humor jokes

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the rabbi asked; "How come after all these years we don't see you at services any more?"

The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105, so I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"

School teacher jokes - Father

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much

would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don't know maths.

Ted: You don't know my father!

Really funny jokes - Ol' Mrs. Pierpoint

A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.

So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Pierpoint is."

A few minutes later, the boy returns.

"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.

"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.

"At me? Whatever for?"

"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Pierpoint told me it's none of your business how old she is."

Funny Humor Jokes - Pen

A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 20 hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her

purse and tries to write with it.

She looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat

says, "Well, that's just great....... ..That's really great....... ...Some asshole's got my pen."

Funny teacher jokes - History

Teacher jokes

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what

had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.

Shrt humor joke - Wedding Portrait

WEDDING PORTRAIT

Any of you who have ever seen an old fashioned formal wedding portrait will notice that the man is seated, and the woman is standing alongside.
While that may seem just the reverse of what it should be -- think about it.
He was probably too damn tired to stand, and she was too damn sore to sit down.