Humor Jokes

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !


TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

sardar joke in hindi

Due to the increasing sardar jokes in the country,
santa and banta were little tensed..

They both decide to arrange a seminar in hariyana for
this issue..
the subject of the seminar was "Ban Sardar Jokes".

After the seminar gets over, santa and banta along wid
some more sardarji's leave for delhi to meet the
Cultural Affairs minister shri Surinder Singh..

After waitin for a long time they get the chance to
meet the minister..

On meeting the minister Santa shouts loudly "Kaise
sardarji ho ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo
par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap Mantri ho kar bhi,
kuch karte hi nahi.. aap turant in jokes par ban
lagaiye.."

After thinkin for a little time the minister says
"Mere pyare sardarji Bhaiyon, aap in jokes ko dil se
kyon lete ho, jokes to jokes hai, aur waise bhi hum
sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain.."

On hearing this, Santa and banta gets angry n shouts
"arre mantri jara sabit kar ke dikhao ki sardarji
buddhu hain.."

The minister says," Oye, ye lo ji, is mein konsi badi
baat hai, abhi lo.." n he calls his driver "oye Mika
singh, jara idhar aa".

Mika comes in the cabin.. Minister says.. "oye mika ja
daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mein ghar pahuncha ki
nahi.. Mika goes away..

Then the minister says.. "Dekh lo kitna buddhu hai,
Telephone kar ke nahi puch sakta tha.."

humor jokes

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

Really Really funny jokes - Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

humor jokes

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."
Black employee: "I'm a protected minority."

Female employee: "And I'm a woman."

Oldest employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."

They all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."

very funny jokes - God

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

Funny Marriage jokes

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

new short jokes

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. The family trooped out to the driveway, and climbed into the car, where he was about to take them for a ride for the first time.
Dad immediately headed for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to the ol' man.
"Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Humor Jokes

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there . Crap, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."

Jokes for the day

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well- groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:

"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've
never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.

And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.

The love dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in- law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work, " the daughter-in- law answered
" But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in- law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress, " she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered and put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing , " he said. "What's for dinner?"

school teacher joke

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''

The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''

''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''

My wife?

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a gun!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

The most important discoveries

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered