Teacher jokes-Complicated concept

One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted, demanding, "Why do we have to learn all this stuff?"
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly, and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So, how exactly does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the idiots out of medical school," replied the professor.

Really funny jokes-Eyes water

A school teacher asks her class 'What vegetable makes your eyes water?'
Little Johnny replies ' a turnip miss'.
'No Johnny' says the teacher, 'I believe you are thinking of an onion, aren't you?'
'No miss' Says Johnny, 'Have you never been hit in the balls with a turnip?'

Really funny jokes-Spellings

The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first."

Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."

The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin."

Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Benjamin. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m ... f-a-r-n ... f-n..."

The teacher says, "Benjamin, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."

Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five odds Benjamin ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."

Teacher jokes-Predict

A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,
"Can people predict the future with cards?"
His response was, "My mother can."
The teacher replied, "Really?"
The young boy was quick to explain,
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

Teacher jokes -Student asleep

An English professor was reading Canterbury Tales to his class and noticed that one of his students had fallen asleep. The professor was annoyed enough to send the book spinning through the air and bounce it off the sleeper's skull. Startled awake, the student asked what had hit him.
"That, "said the professor, "was a flying Chaucer."

Short funny jokes-Exclamatory

Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road.
Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !

Kids jokes-Virtue

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Boy: Brotherly love.

Teacher jokes-Believe

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

Short humor jokes-Judge & Teacher

Q: How is a judge like an English teacher?
A: They both hand out long sentences.

Teacher jokes-The difference

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'Unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."

Teacher jokes

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

--------------

Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."

Teacher jokes

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
-----------

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
-----------

Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."

Kids jokes-Nationality

Teacher: What are the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They are called Turks, now What are the people of Germany called?
Student: They are called Germs.

School teacher jokes - Father

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much

would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don't know maths.

Ted: You don't know my father!

Funny teacher jokes - History

Teacher jokes

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what

had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.

Teacher jokes-The Nutty professor

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said: "Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?"
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
"Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"

Short teacher jokes- Kids Jokes

Enjoy 6 teacher-kids jokes !

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!

___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!

___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!

Really funny jokes-Family stories

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and To return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the Eggs broke."
The moral of the story is not to put all Your eggs in one basket..

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got Ten chicks."
"The moral of this story is not to count Your chickens before they're hatched .."

"Very good ," said the teacher again, very pleased with The response so far.

Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad Told me this story about my Aunt Karen…. Aunt Karen Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete."

"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of Them with the machine gun until she ran out of Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten With her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did Your father say was the moral of that frightening Story?"

The child said "Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been Drinking…"

school joke - Gujarati Boy

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most respected man,whom people consider God, who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."
As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"

School joke- Bubble in the bath

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her introduction, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.She said, "Let's start with the boys first".The boys start giving their introductionFirst boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next" .Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next" .Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next".This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach immature boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please" ..First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds".Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next".Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes" ..Teacher "Now thats like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you...".The most beautiful girl in the class: "M' am, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day".