Valentine's Day joke-Strict attention

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

One line jokes-When things go wrong

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

One line jokes-Down under

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

One line jokes-Hammer

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Lawyer jokes-Hilarious quotes

Quotes by Lawyers

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

One line jokes-Follow your dreams

Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear.

One line jokes-Ruin

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

One line jokes-Focus on others

We're not truly happy until we focus on others.

Clean jokes-Identity thief

Identity thief:

"I can't sit around here taking it easy.
I've got places to go and people to be!"

One line jokes-Help others

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

One line jokes-Going to Court

Going to Court means that your fate is in the hands of twelve people who were not good enough to get out of jury duty!

One line jokes-Meetings

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

One line jokes-Roll on Deodorant

You are so bald that when you wear a turtleneck you look like a Roll on Deodorant.

One line jokes-So bald

A co-actor taunted Vin Diesel by saying: 
You are so bald, I can see what you're thinking.

One line jokes-Going insane

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.

One line jokes-Follow your dreams

Follow your dreams, but not the one in which you’re in kindergarten in your underwear.

One line jokes-Age

Experience doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes experience comes alone.

Office jokes-Get back on your feet

I went to a car dealership in my locality, and noticed they had found a creative way to warn customers who defaulted payments. Their sign said:

"The greatest way to get back on your feet - miss an installment payment."

One line jokes-Opinion

When I want your suggestion, I will hammer it out of you.

One line jokes-Lost voice

The below questions has always haunted me.....

If a swine loses its voice, is it disgruntled?