Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
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Showing posts with label Blonde jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blonde jokes. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Blonde jokes-Cross the road
Why did the blonde cross the road?
Never mind that, what was she doing out of the bedroom?
Never mind that, what was she doing out of the bedroom?
Labels:
Adult jokes,
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Blonde jokes-First aid course
"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.
"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.
"What did you do?" asked the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.
"What did you do?" asked the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Good jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Monday, November 22, 2010
Blonde jokes-Instant lottery
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Labels:
Adult jokes,
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Blonde jokes-Strike!
What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A thought.
A thought.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes,
SMS jokes
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Blonde jokes-Trivial pursuit
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Good jokes,
Hilarious jokes
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Blonde jokes-During the birth
"Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obstetrician solicitously.
"Nah," replied the blonde mother to be.
"He and my husband don't get along."
"Nah," replied the blonde mother to be.
"He and my husband don't get along."
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
doctor jokes,
Short funny jokes
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Funny blonde jokes-Pronunciation
A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."
The cashier leaned over the counter and said:
"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"
The cashier leaned over the counter and said:
"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Hilarious jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Blonde jokes-Inneundo
Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.
A: An Italian suppository.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes,
short humor jokes
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Blonde jokes-Sunburn
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard a blonde girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Friday, July 23, 2010
Blonde joke-Favourite nursery rhyme
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
A: Humpme Dumpme
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes,
SMS jokes
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Blonde joke-Stare
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes,
short humor jokes
Friday, June 18, 2010
Blonde jokes-Another drink
When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it and after two drinks ...anyone can!"
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it and after two drinks ...anyone can!"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Blonde jokes-A blonde's password
During a recent password audit at a large company, it was found that a blond receptionist was using the following password:
“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrament o”
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.
“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrament o”
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Clean jokes
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Really funny jokes - Blonde on a plane
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section.
A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move.
She says, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move.
She says again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"
A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move.
She says, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move.
She says again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Blonde jokes-In front of ther mirror
Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?
A: He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.
A: He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Clean jokes,
Short funny jokes
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Blonde jokes-Baseball
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn’t wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?
A: He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.
A: He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Blonde jokes-In commercials
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
A: Double-dumb
A: Double-dumb
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Short funny jokes,
SMS jokes
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Blonde jokes-Cuckoo
A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it’s a cuckoo.."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is"
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink.
As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!"
Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it’s a cuckoo.."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is"
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink.
As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!"
Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Really Funny Jokes
Monday, December 28, 2009
Blonde jokes-Shrink
After several unsuccessful advances, the bachelor asked his blonde and alluring but standoffish date "Do you shrink from making love?"
"If I did," she sighed, "I'd be a midget."
"If I did," she sighed, "I'd be a midget."
Labels:
Blonde jokes,
Really Funny Jokes,
short humor jokes
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