Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Lawyers, the butt of jokes

Here are some amazing examples of lawyers cross-questioning in court.

Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning was he dead?

Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.

Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You, too, were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

Q: Now, Mrs Brown, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And, by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been on dead people.