You're Still Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
*You speed walk in your sleep.
*You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
*You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
*The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
*You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
*You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
*You chew on other people's fingernails.
*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
*Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."
*Cocaine is a downer.
*You buy milk by the barrel.
*You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
*You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
*You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.