Friday, July 17, 2009

Really funny jokes-Who's a nut

It was open weekend in the local 'loony bin' and one curious man was wandering around watching the inmates 'in action'. When he sees this chap painting a wall, but when he looks closer, he notices that the brush is dry. So he sidles over, looks into the tin and sees more brushes but no paint.
He said to the inmate, "When do you intend to finish"?
The inmate said, "I probably never will. The idea to brighten this place up was my own, so they wont give me money for paint. So unless I can get some from my secret hoard, I'm sunk.
"How would you have a secret hoard of cash"? Said the man.
The inmate said. "Well I lived in the local village for years and years and everyone kept telling me I was nuts, and that one day they would take me away and lock me up. Well, they wasn't going to get my money, so I regularly sneaked onto the village green in the middle of the night, stood underneath the rope swing on the big oak tree, walked 100 paces north, turned, walked 50 paces west then dug down 6 feet and stashed all my cash.
The man rushed home, got a shovel, went back to the village, paced out the instructions and started digging. After 4 hours he had nothing and was feeling knackered and wondered if he had heard the instructions right. He even dug wider on all sides of the hole. But zilch!!
The next day, hands covered in blisters he went back to see the inmate, who was still standing at the wall painting away.
The man said to the inmate, "Are you sure the cash is 100 meters north and fifty paces west?
The inmate said "Did you go looking for it?
The man looking embarrassed said, "Well yes!
The inmate said... Grab a brush!!!