Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners or an anvil.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A: Nothing; there are some things a pig won't do.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: Why did God create snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.